8/10
This sure 'ain't no sleepy holiday cruise, you snooze on this river of blood, YOU LOSE
31 October 2020
Never before was the sleekly exciting, panther paced, high adventuring, blockbusting literature of Alistair MacLean more deliriously distilled into high-octane celluloid than in the bullet-blasted, cannibal-defying, adrenalin-spiking, Amazon-jungle adventuring of Cannon Films explosively exhilarating, Teutonic tyrant thrashing, entertainingly old school, 80s B-Movie thrill-fest, 'River of Death'!

Dynamically directed with a barnstorming belligerence by groovy genre maverick, Steve 'Lone wolf McQuade' Carver, his rollicking deep river adventure is given an ample boost by the celluloid-melting performances of scorching-hot genre stalwarts: L. Q. Jones, Herbert Lom, Donald Pleasence, plus an evilly charismatic, Robert Vaughan, and pushing the alpha levels to the very limits of human plausibility is the incandescent, star-making performance of buff, heroically handsome 'American Ninja' icon, that swiftly karate chopping, bullyboy-blasting, steel-thewed, badass B-Movie dude, Michael Dudikoff himself! Righteously renewed on this pristine-looking 88 films Blu-ray edition, the future looks bright for this rewardingly rumbustious, Amazon-set, pirate-packed, non-stop 80s action bonanza from those beloved opportunistic exploitation behemoths, Cannon Films! Terminally tweaked German scientists, blood-mad pirates, carnage-crazed cannibals, major league machine gunning mayhem, and eternal VHS-hero, Michael Dudikoff, 'River of Death' is more than we deserve!
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