2/10
Can't Hardly Exploit
15 November 2020
Roger Corman's Black Scorpion ran for only one season, 22 episodes broadcast during the first six months of 2001. It was an interesting idea, satirize men who avidly watch exploitation cinema by featuring bumbling and corrupt male characters exhibiting the standard misandrist caricatured behaviors. But in the tradition of "Batman", cancel much of that out by also featuring young exploitation babes in scorching hot costumes.

Done right you expand your target audience, getting not just those tuning in for young babes but those who also appreciate the opportunity to laugh at themselves. You might even get some female viewers who appreciate a nice bit of irony and the relatively well written banter that goes on during each episode. The problem was that unlike "Batman", "Black Scorpion" was a show that canceled itself out. Casting was the biggest problem. Michelle Lintel in the title role seemed like a good choice physically. She had the looks and the athletic ability, filling out her costume nicely enough. But she was far too sterile and few of the episodes were directed well enough from a acting-for-the-camera perspective to move her character into erotic territory.

And unlike "Batman" the female guest stars brought very little sizzle to the production. The series seemed intent on employing aging actresses who looked like they had just arrived at the studio after dropping a station wagon of kids at soccer practice. Pretty much all the main female villains (Athena Massey, Sherrie Rose, Renee Allman, etc.) were pushing forty and had been physically unexceptional even in their prime.

Some of the sidekicks (Faith Salie, Ava Fabian, Kimber West, and Patricia Ford for example) were absolutely sizzling but that brings up the other main issue with the series. These actresses were hopelessly underutilized and the hyper-editing of the action sequences typically cut away from them after a few poorly lite frames. Their costumes were certainly gratuitous but with the horrible lighting and the wide master shots it was impossible to became engaged. The situation cried out for some well-lighted lingering close-ups, but the producers arrived ticketless at the clue-bus station. It was just too antiseptic to even be a gentle tease.
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