2/10
You've seen Snakes on a Plane, now it's time for Boobs on a Bus!
8 March 2021
In the world of low-budget B-movie films, there are good films and there are bad films. There are bad films that are good-bad films, and there are bad films which are bad-bad. This film falls well beyond the later to be a bad film which was bad-terrible. Based on reviews and trailers I knew what to expect; a trashy film which was dripping with cheese and excessive amounts of fake blood - but I do not think I was actually that well prepared for what I eventually watched.

A party bus on its way to the Burning Man festival in America breaks down in the desert. This is an inconvenience for the young adults onboard as they are ready to party and want nothing more than more loud music, sex, drugs, and alcohol - most of which the party bus has been able to provide so far. During the night they are attacked by satanic nomads who are hiding out in the desert and enjoy a good massacre. The young adults, or what is left of them, take refuge on the bus and fight for their lives. Being relative strangers to one and other, they can either pull together or fall apart, and it seems that they are not all who they claim to be.

This film became a chore to watch quickly. Even before the 10-minute mark was up, my wife was happier cleaning our cats litter tray and then cleaning the kitchen instead. There is an idea of a story here, but it is not all that original, and it is executed terribly. The plot feels like it could have come straight form a horror-comedy-parody of the early 2000's. Rather than an interesting or original story this film was geared up for the visuals as the vehicle which would carry the film.

Aesthetically this film was, well, it was a bit of a mess. The CGI was annoyingly weak and became a running joke. I like a lot of gore in movies, but if it serves a purpose. And in this it felt like there was a budget of fake blood to use, so it was just flung in wherever and whenever. But let's not beat around the bush here... I would have to be blind not to mention the partial nudity and sex that was shown for pretty much 90% of the film. This film is filled with topless woman and seems to be happy to objectify the female characters to the point they become lusting caricatures. Even the ones who are set up to be heroes/survivors are sexualised and enjoy exploring their own or each other's flesh. I am not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but the sexualisation here got boring and cringy quickly, it wasn't necessary, other than perhaps to cover up or distract from the bad story and poor acting.

The cast of actors assembled do not have much experience under their belts, and to be honest, it was not really required either. It feels like the casting requirements were: (1) are you young and consider yourself hot? (2) can you read off a script? (3) do you mind getting semi-naked in front of the camera? (4) Are you happy to wear your own clothes and get them doused in fake blood? My comments here are due to it feeling like the assembled cast were just reading the script - no emotions or feelings, just word for word reading. The writing wasn't great for them so that didn't help, and there were a lot of stereotypical characters - the easy girl, the stoner, the hippie, the spoiled rich kid, the nerd, the lesbians. Sadie Katz and Tara Reid seem to be the recognizable actors in this with credible experience. Tara Reid looked like she's just finished a 24-hour party, and Sadie Katz seemed happy enough to join the topless troupe.

By the end of the film, apart from feeling violated, I was also getting a headache. The lighting in the film is reminiscent of going to a poorly lit rave in the 1990's. There are moments when strobe lighting has been used to intensify the action being played out - but it just ended up hurting my eyes which where already in distress from watching the film. I will not be in a rush to go and watch this again or recommend it highly. When it comes to a rating, I am going to give it 2 out of 10. You might have expected a 1 out of 10, but this gets an extra star only due to the fact that I have seen some terrible movies in my time and at least I got through this in one sitting. It was disjointed and poorly executed, but it was not that annoying and contrived that I could not soldier through it to the end so that I never have to watch it again.
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