4/10
Have Guitar Will Travel
18 October 2021
Roy Orbison had one of the sexiest singing voices ever, however his speaking voice made him sound like a nerd. He also looked like a nerd, especially without his trademark dark sunglasses; and since this movie takes place before sunglasses were invented that was not an option. Instead he was heavily made up, with black hair dye (or perhaps a wig), and artificial painted-on eyebrows, so he looks like a mannequin from a wax museum. His acting skills are actually not terrible, but it's hard to play a convincing hero when you look and sound so dorky.

The movie itself is... well, not good. He flips a switch on his guitar that turns it into a gun, and that's the only novel or exciting thing there is. The comedy bits with the Indians are of course totally racist by today's standards, but even at the time they must have seen stale and unfunny. Also bad by today's standards is that Roy and his friends are working for the Confederate Army. The weirdest part of the plot is that when they are told that the war is now over and the South has lost, their reaction is "oh well, so much for that." A few minutes earlier they were willing to risk their lives for the cause of good old Dixie and the plantation system of slavery, and the next minute they're ready to call it a loss and just move on.

The only good thing about the movie is the music. Roy Orbison and Bill Dees wrote a bunch of songs for the movie and they range from pretty good to truly excellent. As soon as Roy starts singing (or lip synching to his recordings) he is no longer a nerd. He is transformed into a highly charismatic, irresistibly smooth, super cool dude. It's a good thing we have this film, flawed as it is, to preserve his legacy as a unique and brilliant singing star.
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