Review of Toot Whistle Plunk and Boom

. . . for six years--trapped mercilessly amid fifth through tenth grade school orchestra--so I perfectly understand why TOOT WHISTLE PLUNK AND BOOM pictures milquetoast musicians as malingering miscreant cavemen. These nefarious rascals are truly the bottom feeders of any academic institution. Whether you dignify them with dressed-up terminology such as the horn, woodwind, string and percussion sections, or simply label them as the Neanderthal numbskulls that they invariably are, you can count upon band and orchestra pupils to be the meanest, most low-down underhanded ilk of any academy. Though the most outrageous bullies are designated as the First Chairs, no normal person would be comfortable sitting in even a last chair. The sleazy directors have the audacity to charge these mostly affluent noisemakers Big Bucks for so-called Private Lessons aimed at making them even more insufferable then their misbegotten Nature has cursed them as to top off their careers in cacophony.