6/10
Like being beat to death with a cudgel...slowly
27 February 2023
First of all, there is no earthly reason this movie needs to be 2 hours and 27 minutes. None. 147 minutes of beating home with sledgehammer efficiency, the prevalence of socio-economic injustice, the perverse obsession with the superficial over the substantial, and gender inequity. The exposing and mocking of which, I am 100% supportive! But the execution is so lazy and repetitive that, even though the core message is admirable, this can hardly be considered enjoyable, much less enlightening.

Now, I love a slow burn. I like long films. And I definitely like films that have something to say. But in all honesty, this film could have been cut by 1/3rd and spared the audience a lot of pain. Every scene is too long, starting from the very first one. There certainly is a message of gender-reversed exploitation to be made, but how long does it really need to take? And the awkwardness of Carl and Yaya's evening is excruciatingly drawn out, exacerbated by the dull and fractional dialogue (though this could be mitigated by the characters being dull and fractional themselves). Even the aftermath of the Captain's Dinner is gratuitously long and boring (I won't even bring in 'disgusting', because that frankly isn't even the issue.) It must be meant for an audience unfamiliar with subtlety in film, but there's no way that target audience has the attention span for such a drawn out film.

Only the 3rd chapter (which deep down somewhere, I knew *had* to be coming, though I'd hoped credits would role at the end of Chapter 2) was even remotely interesting. Two hours of laborious setup to reveal what we already knew in the first place, and had been very obviously foreshadowed from the first moments on the yacht. Take a bit of The Menu and add some Lord of the Flies, but the total is less than the sum of its parts.
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