Review of Options

Options (1989)
Minor screwball comedy even a Howard Hawks couldn't save
2 April 2023
My review was written in April 1989 after watching the movie on Vestron video cassette.

Hollywood's recent back to southern Africa movement continues with the meek comedy "Options", currently in regional theatrical release.

Sort of a destitute man's "Romancing the Stone", pic limns the misadventures of nerdy Matt Salinger, a Stanford Business School grad working in Hollywood as a studio specialist in optioning real-life stories for the purpose of making telefilms.

He's sent to Zambia by greedy boss James Keach to track down Princess Nicole (Polish star Joanna Pacula), heir to the Belgian throne and descendent of Queen Victoria. She's been disinherited, is on the rebound from a failed marriage and is currently studying African elephants.

Slapstick footage goes nowhere in a hurry, with Pacula and later Salinger kidnapped, escaping several times with the aid of money-grubbing black sidekick John Kani. Salinger persists his stuffy talk and stuffier attitude until going native and eventually bedding the lovely Pacula.

Helmer Camilo Vila, who previously made the Vestron horror release "The Unholy", displays little flair for comedy. Oddest gag has Salinger & Pacula in a dark cave singing "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" which has thematic relevance and is reprised by Dionne Warwick over the end credits.

Very dum touch has prominently credited guest stars Eric Roberts and Susan Anton only appearing for a few seconds following the end credits, portraying Salinger & Pacula in the telefilm version of their adventures.

Salinger struggles with an unflattering role. Pacula looks great as ever, but is still awaiting a worthy Hollywood assignment.

Tech credits are fine.
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