Extremely dopey vampire sex comedy with bad jokes, stupid characters, and a dull story. A sexy Baroness inherits a castle and discovers she comes from a line of vampires. Careless, she releases one of her kin who had been coffin bound. She is certainly a flirtatious she-devil and goes so far as to try and seduce one of the local monks. The monk reminds me of MrBean, and bumbles around as much.
There is a scene where a woman is being stretched on the rack. The torturer turns the wheel while eating a banana. Music is awful. Bubble pops and bat noises. Main dudes car has VMPR on the license plate... foreshadowing? Comedy is of the sleazy D films of the time, including peeping tom monks and lusty vampires. There is more than enough skin to place this after Midnight on Cinemax. The funniest moment for me was seeing all the fillings behind Clairmonde Catani's fangs. Lol! There is even a scene where the baroness for whatever reason fondles a skull door knocker while making sensual noises.... With absolutely no explanation. The movie is purely mastabatory and impossible to follow or care what's "happening". Nothing scary or mysterious either and the comedy is juvenile pervy-fare. Dracula shows up more than halfway through the film and hams up the cringe to another level. At least he made it more interesting. Did you know that vampires could get drunk on alcohol? I didn't. Also don't think there is another film where Dracula flees the dawn in a helicopter while desperately trying to pull his pants up. He also has the line of the film at that point though: "Damn the zipper... full speed ahead!" There were moments where I was tempted to bail on this one, however there was just enough to keep the attention. Can't recommend as a skinemax film unless you are a boob-man. Devoured with a dram or three of Rare Breed. Cheers!
There is a scene where a woman is being stretched on the rack. The torturer turns the wheel while eating a banana. Music is awful. Bubble pops and bat noises. Main dudes car has VMPR on the license plate... foreshadowing? Comedy is of the sleazy D films of the time, including peeping tom monks and lusty vampires. There is more than enough skin to place this after Midnight on Cinemax. The funniest moment for me was seeing all the fillings behind Clairmonde Catani's fangs. Lol! There is even a scene where the baroness for whatever reason fondles a skull door knocker while making sensual noises.... With absolutely no explanation. The movie is purely mastabatory and impossible to follow or care what's "happening". Nothing scary or mysterious either and the comedy is juvenile pervy-fare. Dracula shows up more than halfway through the film and hams up the cringe to another level. At least he made it more interesting. Did you know that vampires could get drunk on alcohol? I didn't. Also don't think there is another film where Dracula flees the dawn in a helicopter while desperately trying to pull his pants up. He also has the line of the film at that point though: "Damn the zipper... full speed ahead!" There were moments where I was tempted to bail on this one, however there was just enough to keep the attention. Can't recommend as a skinemax film unless you are a boob-man. Devoured with a dram or three of Rare Breed. Cheers!