3/10
No Lucky Touch Here
18 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Another Roger Moore movie that can't make up its mind whether it's meant to be serious or humorous and which also left me lamenting that Roger Moore didn't manage to appear in more com-coms instead of a string of half-baked action movies. Type-caste as the Saint / James Bond I suppose, even though such rare acting praise as he did receive is generally for his affable charm rather than for his steely resolve.

Coming in cold I found it hard to work out what sort of movie this was trying to be, at first it seemed like it might be a political thriller, as Roger tests weapons in the darkness at some deserted spot and makes deals to purchase more. Shady Arab characters pop up from time to time, without ever being involved directly with any of the other characters. Meanwhile there is another thread involving a crusading investigative reporter (and solo mum) Susannah York, who is in town to cause mischief at a NATO exercise. General Lee J Cobb and wife Shelley Winters appear to be there for comic relief, which is all well and good. Also scattered through the movie are otherwise irrelevant scenes of Roger watching horses win bets for him at the races and Roger winning at poker, in order to provide some ephemeral connection to the title of the film.

By this time the audience is wondering how Roger and Susannah fit into the same picture, when suddenly we find out, as it turns out they are living on the same floor of a palatial apartment building and later she manages to lock herself out just as Roger arrives home. Here is where the movie comes alive, now that we are in familiar rom-com territory, and remain there for an extended period. Although the script is pretty ropey, the charm of the two leads almost carries the day in this middle phase of the film, which manages to be mildly amusing. Watching Roger operate in this setting is to see a performer clearly in his element and is what made me ponder how he didn't get more Cary Grant / Rock Hudson style opportunities. I guess one reason would be that this movie was a failure.

The fundamental underlying problem with the whole premise is that Roger is an arms dealer, a profession which is never likely to win over an audience's sympathy. Now I can comprehend that in the real World even the good guys make use of arms dealers, but it's a hard sell, and an even harder sell in the context of a rom-com, and probably an impossible sell when the other side of the equation is an anti-war investigative journalist.

Unfortunately, all too soon we return to the other main plot thread of the movie, events relating to the NATO exercise. Just why General Cobb is so tolerant of Susannah the anti-War reporter is eventually explained, but far too late in the day and even then remains unconvincing. The rest of the film decends into half baked farce, which makes less and less sense as it unravels. More importantly it also failed to engender any laughs on my part.

In the end Roger decides not to sell arms to the Arab gentlemen, who have been hanging around throughout the movie without a line of dialogue, someone mentions this to Susannah, who then decides that Roger isn't such an unprincipled scoundrel after all, that it's ok to fall for him, and they walk off into the airport travellator sunset.

So Roger gets to display his natural talent for comedic acting, Susannah York is vivacious, Lee J Cobb, Shelley Winters, Raf Vallone and Donald Sindon all ham it up (in a good way), in fact all the performers do their best with a poor script and unimaginative direction, but it's just not enough to save the film from being a disappointing debacle.
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