Ted (ex-Mouseketeer Tommy Kirk) is a button-down sort of guy who is petrified of having sex with his new wife, Marge (Anne Helm). He faints on his wedding night; Marge would rather read Little Red Riding Hood anyway. He visits a doctor who explains this fear as the "Mother Goose complex." The doc suggests he and Marge spend their honeymoon at the Sheraton Towers hotel in Hollywood, which is run by a smarmy Lothario, Mr. Philippe (Jacques Bergerac).
The remedy for Ted's problem is an atomizer filled with an LSD-like substance -- "A mild psychedelic drug," the doc says -- which Ted must inhale when he stresses over sex. During inane dream sequences, he sees characters from Jack and the Beanstalk and The Three Little Pigs. Eventually, Ted regains his manhood after several unfunny sight gags and leering sex jokes.
UNKISSED BRIDE is a would-be zany comedy that falls flat in almost every department. Tommy Kirk tries hard and is very sincere, but this film is a good indication of why his career went nowhere as an adult. His next stops on the downside ride included Larry Buchanan's MARS NEEDS WOMEN and the fiasco called BLOOD OF GHASTLY HORROR.
To his credit, in UNKISSED BRIDE Kirk makes an effort here to shake off his Mousey image. He smoke cigarettes, gets drunk, gropes women, and even sings the swingin' title tune. I wonder what must have gone through his mind as he belted out lyrics like, "Cut me loose, Mother Goose . . . Just quack and get off my back . . . "
This film didn't need Tommy's involvement to be stupefyingly dumb. For example, Bergerac plays a character who talks to ladies' asses, and Henny Youngman plays himself at a drive-in. The best joke involves an African savage in full native regalia objecting to the wild dancing at a nightclub.
You've been warned.
The remedy for Ted's problem is an atomizer filled with an LSD-like substance -- "A mild psychedelic drug," the doc says -- which Ted must inhale when he stresses over sex. During inane dream sequences, he sees characters from Jack and the Beanstalk and The Three Little Pigs. Eventually, Ted regains his manhood after several unfunny sight gags and leering sex jokes.
UNKISSED BRIDE is a would-be zany comedy that falls flat in almost every department. Tommy Kirk tries hard and is very sincere, but this film is a good indication of why his career went nowhere as an adult. His next stops on the downside ride included Larry Buchanan's MARS NEEDS WOMEN and the fiasco called BLOOD OF GHASTLY HORROR.
To his credit, in UNKISSED BRIDE Kirk makes an effort here to shake off his Mousey image. He smoke cigarettes, gets drunk, gropes women, and even sings the swingin' title tune. I wonder what must have gone through his mind as he belted out lyrics like, "Cut me loose, Mother Goose . . . Just quack and get off my back . . . "
This film didn't need Tommy's involvement to be stupefyingly dumb. For example, Bergerac plays a character who talks to ladies' asses, and Henny Youngman plays himself at a drive-in. The best joke involves an African savage in full native regalia objecting to the wild dancing at a nightclub.
You've been warned.