Something harrowing is laid bare in Netflix's new Baby Reindeer. Based on an autobiographical one-man show by Scottish comedian Richard Gadd (who also stars), the series dramatizes his experiences with stalking and abuse. It is the sort of story that -- mainly because the gender dynamics aren't what we "expect" -- so rarely gets attention, much less taken seriously.
While I don't intend to hit you with too much info, the dynamic at the center of Baby Reindeer is one I found eerily familiar; based on the type of person that Gadd's stalker apparently was, it got me thinking about how these things seem to typically play out. Particular types of people will prey on other particular types of people. I recognized this stalker; this demeanor.
In Gadd, I see bits of both myself and an old friend who went through something similar around the same time as I did. Neither of us had to endure such insane levels of it, but I can attest that it's easy to, for lack of a better word, allow things like this to get worse. The show explores as much: When you're at a low point, you may accept any sort of attention -- even when the flags are red as can be -- and certain stalkers will be especially drawn to such a person, as they feel they have a chance.
It also showcases perfectly how stalkers of this ilk aren't just malicious, but trapped in some narcissistic state where it's unclear to onlookers if they're delusional or lying on purpose -- and where they see themselves as the protagonist of a romantic film. (Just think of the scene where Martha, the stalker, tries to win Gadd back by singing a love song at one of his stand-up gigs; she isn't being ominous on purpose, but clearly doing what she's certain will save the day.) Even so, this is a story that goes to places that cannot be described as anything other than evil.
I don't mean to "judge" the show based on things like accuracy. This is Gadd's story to tell and on top of being a bravely vulnerable piece of expression, the show as such is also technically well-made and cleverly, purposefully presented. Gadd maintains a certain sense of humor about it all: Poorly spelled emails have rarely looked so humorous yet disturbing at the same time.
While I don't intend to hit you with too much info, the dynamic at the center of Baby Reindeer is one I found eerily familiar; based on the type of person that Gadd's stalker apparently was, it got me thinking about how these things seem to typically play out. Particular types of people will prey on other particular types of people. I recognized this stalker; this demeanor.
In Gadd, I see bits of both myself and an old friend who went through something similar around the same time as I did. Neither of us had to endure such insane levels of it, but I can attest that it's easy to, for lack of a better word, allow things like this to get worse. The show explores as much: When you're at a low point, you may accept any sort of attention -- even when the flags are red as can be -- and certain stalkers will be especially drawn to such a person, as they feel they have a chance.
It also showcases perfectly how stalkers of this ilk aren't just malicious, but trapped in some narcissistic state where it's unclear to onlookers if they're delusional or lying on purpose -- and where they see themselves as the protagonist of a romantic film. (Just think of the scene where Martha, the stalker, tries to win Gadd back by singing a love song at one of his stand-up gigs; she isn't being ominous on purpose, but clearly doing what she's certain will save the day.) Even so, this is a story that goes to places that cannot be described as anything other than evil.
I don't mean to "judge" the show based on things like accuracy. This is Gadd's story to tell and on top of being a bravely vulnerable piece of expression, the show as such is also technically well-made and cleverly, purposefully presented. Gadd maintains a certain sense of humor about it all: Poorly spelled emails have rarely looked so humorous yet disturbing at the same time.