Topkapi (1964)

Peter Ustinov: Arthur Simon Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maj. Ali Tufan : What made you suspect they are Russian spies?

  Arthur Simon Simpson : I deduced it, sir.

  Maj. Ali Tufan : From what?

  Arthur Simon Simpson : From the cook, sir.

  Maj. Ali Tufan : What did the cook say?

  Arthur Simon Simpson : That they were Russian spies.

  Maj. Ali Tufan : A clever deduction.

• Arthur Simon Simpson : It's not a question of losing my nerve; I never *had* nerve!

• Gerven the Cook : You foreign, eh?

  Arthur Simon Simpson : No, I'm English.

• [Simpson is talking to the Turkish guards who have arrested him] 

  Arthur Simon Simpson : You frighten me, sir. But, after all, that's part of your job. But if my father could hear you now he'd laugh himself sick. He wasn't no colonel, sir. I just said that in order to make myself seem important. He was a sergeant - acting sergeant - acting unpaid sergeant. And d'you know what he used to say to me? He used to say, "Arthur"... he used to call me Arthur... "Arthur, you're a carbuncle on the behind of humanity." Carbuncle! I'm a nothing! I'm a nobody!

• Maj. Ali Tufan : What has Miss Lipp to say? Did you hear her talk to anyone?

  Arthur Simon Simpson : Yes, I heard her speak to Mr. Harper.

  Maj. Ali Tufan : What did she say?

  Arthur Simon Simpson : Personal things, you know, I don't think they'd be of any interest to you.

  Maj. Ali Tufan : *Everything* she says is of interest to me.

  Arthur Simon Simpson : Well, she said I was attractive to her.

  Maj. Ali Tufan : Fool! She knew you were listening!

  Arthur Simon Simpson : That's impossible.

  Maj. Ali Tufan : Then why would she say anything so stupid!

  Arthur Simon Simpson : Well, she did! She even went further. She said I had beautiful eye lashes!

• Turkish Official : [advising Major Tufan of Simpson's criminal record]  In 1958 he was deported from Britain for smuggling pornographic literature.

  Arthur Simon Simpson : An art magazine, sir!

  Turkish Official : Called...?

  Arthur Simon Simpson : 'Stop Press Nudes'!

• Walter Harper : Giulio's on the sill now. I'll help you lower him down.

  Arthur Simon Simpson : Can't he do anything by himself?