User Reviews

As far as I - and millions of other British kids - were concerned, 'The Goodies' could do no wrong in 1973. We lapped up each new series ( including repeats ), laughed at the comic strip in 'Cor!', and us lucky ones got the 1974 Annual in our Christmas stocking. Such was the level of interest in 'The Goodies & The Beanstalk' that people were raving about it before it had even been shown.

How, I hear you ask? Simple. B.B.C.-2's trailer was composed of a generous chunk of the climactic bird attack. After seeing the lads dive bombed by golden-egg laden geese to the sound of the 'Dambusters March', there was no way any of us were going to miss the actual show.

It was their first attempt at a Christmas Special, though the previous year they had put out 'The Goodies' Five-Minute Travelling Christmas' as part of 'Christmas Night With The Stars'. Here they got to do a whole show based on the old fairytale 'Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs' ( according to the opening credits ).

Tim, Bill and Graeme have fallen on hard times. After failing as buskers, they decide to sell their only possession - Buttercup the three-wheeled bicycle. Bill is lucky to get a tin of beans for it. Graeme plants one, and lo and behold, a beanstalk shoots into the sky.

Pursuing it across the channel to France, they become contestants on 'Jeux San Frontieres' - the European version of 'Its A Knockout' - , hosted by the late, much-missed Eddie Waring ( often the target of Graeme's impersonations, he was a good sport for doing this. Note the huge cheer he gets when he appears! )

Surviving various obstacles, such as having coconuts thrown at them by Man Friday and swinging on a rope over a tank of piranha fish, they climb the beanstalk. Somewhere in the clouds there lives a giant, and when I tell you he is played by diminutive Alfie Bass I need say no more.

Its impossible to list one outstanding funny moment from this - there are so many. The dancing copper, Graeme switching on a plant to read a book at night, the beanstalk crashing into the B.B.C. Centre where Corbet Woodall ( great guy! ) is reading the news, the spoof ad offering puppies as prizes in a competition, Tim eavesdropping on female nudists ( hope Mrs.Whitehouse never saw this bit ), the lads' singing in a canyon and creating wonderful echoes, Bill trying to encourage hens to lay golden eggs and instead getting a brick, Alfie Bass bellowing 'fee-fi-fo-fum' through a loudhailer, the 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?' song number with the lads dressed as the Marx Bros., and of course, the aforementioned finale which also features Alfred Hitchcock and a giant hobnailed boot. All capped by a fabulous cameo from John Cleese as a genie!

Bass had earlier appeared in the 'Camelot' episode that opened Season 4, though as a different character. This is I think the best of his performances. He is a little man pretending to be a giant, and gets some cracking lines: "Have you ever tried cleaning a ten-foot high toilet bowl? Come to think of it, have you ever tried using one?".

I cannot remember what else was on telly on Christmas Eve 1973, but I doubt whether it was outstanding as this. It was the work of three top-flight comedians at their peak.

It went down so well it was repeated several times in the course of the decade, and was the first 'Goodies' episode to come out on video. Channel 5 showed it as part of a Boxing Day '70's comedy theme night ( now why don't they do that anymore? ) in 2004. I do not know what first-timers made of it, but I thought it stood up well. Times may change, but fairy tales thankfully do not.

The Goodies had a couple of Season 4 episodes left to see us into the New Year, but were largely absent from our screens in 1974. When they returned a year later, however, it would be with a bang.