User Reviews

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** Anyway....

"9 Dead Gay Guys" is a British film by first-time writer-director Ky Lab Mo. It follows the tale of Irish boy Kenny (the handsome Glenn Mulhern), who has traveled to London to hook up with his friend, Byron (the sharp-featured and hot-bodied Brendan Mackey). It turns out that Brendan's been unable to make much of himself, so he earns money by performing oral sex on old gay men he meets in a local bar. Kenny, naturally, is a more than a little nonplussed by Brendan's "day job."

The plot actually when The Queen -- a local flaming homosexual with a huge penis (played with understated femininity by Michael Praed, who some might remember as Prince Michael on the old TV show "Dynasty") -- is found dead. His lover, the Orthodox rabbi known only as "Golders Green" (because he lives on Golders Green), is rumored to have paid The Queen for sex out of a gigantic stash of money kept under his mattress.

The Queen is Dead Gay Guy #1.

Byron and Kenny soon embark on quest to loot Golders Green's mattress of money. Through a quirk of fate, Byron discovers that the murderer was a man with a 3.5 inch penis. The search is on for this man. But nothing is ever that easy.

As they conduct their search for the man with the tiny penis, Kenny and Byron manage to kill two more gay men. When it is discovered that Kenny, too, has a huge penis ("I always thought I was normal!"), Byron concocts a scheme to have Kenny sleep with Golders Green and find out if the money is still in the mattress.

Before long, however, another six dead gay men lay on various floors -- along with one dead lesbian.

By film's end, Kenny and Byron discover that Golders Green and The Queen had not simply exchanged sex for money. They had truly been in love. Kenny and Byron themselves soon realize that they not only share the same (homo)sexuality, but that they, too, may be in love.

I'm not really sure what to make of this movie. Most of the gags in the film are extremely un-PC, but very funny nonetheless. Depicting Golders Green as a greedy Jew, for instance, may offend as easily as it makes you laugh. Depicting the three West African brothers as the stereotypical "hypersexed black male" is just as offensive, and just as funny (especially when one of them turns out to be a well-educated, well-spoken, intellectual philosopher). Dick-Cheese Deepak plays solely off offensive stereotypes of Indian sing-song accents, gay Indian men's supposed problems with foreskins, and the predominance of Indians among cab drivers in London. These jokes -- visual and verbal -- certainly elicit a lot of laughter.

Kenny's fear of gay sex and Byron's easy-going acceptance of "gay for pay" is funny. Later, when Kenny thinks he's gay, it's Byron's turn to play up the "gay panic" jokes. And by film's end, both men appear to be gay after they kiss.

It's funny, but...

The plot twists, too, are funny. Father Ted probably plays better in the United States -- where the Catholic Church's pedophile scandal is much bigger news than in Europe. The way the Iron Lady kills him, too, is pretty funny. There is a scene where Kenny and Byron debate which gay men may have Golders Green's money. They unwittingly talk in front of three little old ladies. The little old ladies turn out to have mouths like truck drivers, and are not miffed one bit by the overtly sexual talk of the two men.

It's funny, but...

Aren't these just cheap laughs? It's very easy to set up stereotypes and then play against them. It's easy to let your actors ham it up, and then get skewered. Some of the visual gags -- such as showing dead Dick-Cheese Deepak lying on top of the smoking hood of his car, scene after scene after scene -- come right out of "The Naked Gun" or "Airplane" and aren't terribly inventive. They're funny, but...

In some ways, the film's over-the-top humor gets stale after a while. The laughter had definitely ebbed by the time the Desperate Dwarf kills the Iron Lady and the three West African brothers. It's funny, but...

And the film's more gentle moments seem out of place. Kenny's emerging homosexuality is almost dealt with tenderly in the picture, making for an odd contrast with the blatantly cruel, dark humor of the rest of the film. The bittersweet revelation about the true nature of the relationship between Golders Green and The Queen also doesn't quite fit. After inducing the audience to guffaw at the most horrific of events, it's disconcerting to try to get us to feel warmth and compassion for Kenny or for Golders Green.

"9 Dead Gay Guys" probably would fare better if I'd had a couple beers in me. It's that sort of movie -- one where you can't feel or think too much about the film, because it breaks down if you do. Had it stuck to the pure-comedy formula of films like "The Naked Gun," I wouldn't have any quarrel with the picture (aside from the extremely offensive stereotypes used). But by mixing in elements of compassion, it's much more difficult to like the film.

The DVD of this film compares it to John Waters, from a Los Angeles Times article that, after constant research, I could not locate: it certainly wasn't the review, since it got a ROTTEN rating from Kevin Thomas, the Times critic, during it's brief, theatrical run. It doesn't quite have the charm, nor the outrageousness, of a good (or bad) John Waters flick, certainly not the cleverness of say Serial Mom nor any truly great lines such as Who Wants To Die For Art. Rather, this movie is merely a collection of unconnected stereotypes, from a money- grubbing apparently sex-less dyke who smothers a priest with her huge breast (something we know every dyke just longs to do) to three potty mouthed old ladies perpetually sitting outside a public restroom in London.

The script and direction are by a first time man who clearly limited his research to anecdotal stories told him by a gay friend, some reading and few trips to a gay pub. It's obvious that the adage to write about what you know was never shared with him. In the director's commentary, he talks about one scene being based upon his visits to a real home of his gay friend's (and the director repeatedly takes pains to point out, verbally and otherwise, that he was not gay -- only his friend was) friend and how the flat was littered with phallic symbols, such as a phallic coat rack. To convey this in the film is what appears to be a large papier mache penis in the entry way and then a number of black dildos on a kitchen counter. Now, perhaps to an unsophisticated Chinese-Irish first time director on a very shoe string budget, most gay men would decorate their kitchens with black dildo's, but more apparently, this is just another example of poor execution of ill-defined, not particularly well-thought out gags in the script.

From items previously mentioned, such as the crashing of the taxi, to the shooting of the second dead gay guy's scene (being "shagged to death" when the actor actually convinced the other actor to strangle him instead), it's obvious the director either didn't have control over the scenes or his actors, who did what they wanted and not always necessarily to the advancement of the plot or betterment of the film. Nor did the director have the ability to visualize how to advance his script or plot with the limitations present. One need only see early John Waters to see how truly inventive and creative people could, at minimal expense, portray what was needed to truly move the plot or truly create genuine outrageous and humor.

The people who gave this high marks are obviously the kind of people who think cardboard cutouts ala South Park and fart and death jokes are the height of amusement. The only thing the movie has are good performances from the leads and some of the supporting characters, a few (very few seconds) of really mild humor. Otherwise, it reads like a ripoff of a lot of movies with no idea that none of them really mean anything or come across as anything worthwhile.

I saw this with a friend who simply couldn't understand the story because of the thick accents used throughout the film. I didn't have the problem -- as an actor I've done all those accents and have been watching British related TV since I was nine. Therein lies the problem with an average American watching this film. But as I say, I understood the slang and the language easily. I loved it for the very thin line it danced on. A comment on stereotypes: (all men giving oral sex to other men, are not gay, black men don't always have the biggest, women who hang around gay men are not all cheesecake loving fag hags and the butch-est guy in the room can be gay and want to shag another dude.

Part social commentary: Argo The west African's speech Part murder mystery: Hence the search for the murderer with the 3.5 inch willy. Part Buddy movie. "What's with you and dead people" "I guess we're gonna do it."

If you can keep up with the driven pace, the MTV layout, the accents, the drawf's naked ass, super sissy men and the lesbian from hell -- you'll enjoy it a lot. I loved it.

My friend was so confused, so you gotta have brains to like this movie.