User Reviews

Have I seen a worse movie? No I can't say that I have. This was pathetic. If the director is still alive: 1. He shouldn't be. 2. He should be ashamed. 3. God, how I would like to take out my 2 completely wasted hours of time on his a$$.

To give you guys a few pointers of the "film":

1. (I'm a male) and I would rather give myself a papercut on the opening of my urethra before viewing this again (seriously).

2. It does have a few known names in it (Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio). They don't help, and their careers in cinema after this "film" are officially over by the way.

3. The dialog is the worst I've ever heard. "I want to ejaculate on your bozonkas."? What kind of writer did they have on this film? Was he still using hooked-on-phonics and just got his letters mixed up to make these horrible sentences?, or was he trying to get the Director killed by the few people who saw this?

4. Watch this "film" backwards. Because I PROMISE you that you do not want to watch it forwards.

5. This "film" would make Helen Keller get up and walk out of the theater.

6. The set of the movie looks like an adult sized McDonald's playplace. I was just waiting for this so called "Dracula" to fall in the ball pit at some time in the movie.

7. Also, I like that in the year 3000 they still have headsets with wires that go to their mouth. No bluetooth, no wireless headsets, no chips placed in the brain, but they use headsets borrowed from a telemarketing agency that went out of business in 1983(Nice job Set director on this one. Real professional. I hope you're currently unemployed and reading this.)

8. I don't know who was in charge of special effects, but I could have done better in my backyard with my VHS camcorder that doesn't have a battery.

9. I was a devout Catholic before this "film". But since viewing it, I know there is not a God, because if there was, he wouldn't have let this film be produced. I am now an atheist.

10. I'll be honest I can't talk about the ending. Last time I tried to explain it I fell into a coma.

Folks however bored you get, however curious(or brave) you are, however many laughs you THINK you will get out of this movie, please DO NOT WATCH THIS. It has literally ruined my life. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Comment to the director: I hate you. You have ruined my life. After viewing this I feel empty inside. My wife and kids have left me and hate me because I couldn't speak or hardly move after seeing this. I lost my job, my dignity, and above all my pride. I will never forgive you in this life or the next(which is not looking good from my newfound beliefs) .

I'm at a loss for words. This movie is beyond description. I don't believe there is a language on Earth that has a word that can describe how horrible this movie is. If you do attempt to watch it, be sure to stick around for the "suprise ending". I only made it about three quarters of the way through this piece of crap before I couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately(or unfortunately) a couple of my buddies stayed till the end. When they woke up from their coma and after a couple of weeks of therapy they were able to fill me in on what I had missed. This movie has no story, no plot, horrible writing, and even worse acting. If you enjoy watching train wrecks or auto accidents then this film is for you. I think my IQ dropped about 30 points from watching this (insert expletive here).

Considering that they wanted to do a vampire movie in space, I thought, "Well, it'll probably be pretty cheesy, but at least interesting enough to see a different take on the whole genre." Whoops. I don't care what kind of movies you like; even if you're the biggest vampire, horror, thriller, or suspense fan in the world, or adversely, if you've never seen a horror movie before and would expect that your first would be impressive in any way whatsoever...you're wrong. I don't think I've ever seen a "made for TV movie" or after-school special this bad. I've never seen a TV pilot show this bad. I've never seen footage of animals sleeping or shitting that's as bad as this. This is, by far, the single biggest waste of hours you could otherwise spend contemplating the importance of dish towels and their effect on your life. I would far rather be trapped in a bathroom for weeks with nothing to consume but my own urine and excrement than watch even a single clip of this movie again. Watching this made me wish for the fates that the characters fell to instead of dealing with knowing that I paid money to watch it. It was, however, like a train wreck: so bad you just couldn't help but watch, hoping something good might happen. It didn't. Please, for the love of God, if you or your friends - even if using illicit substances while doing so - even consider watching this movie, choose instead to have a contest to see who can shoot a snot-rocket farther. It will bring you far greater enjoyment and entertainment.

Space is a vacuum, right? Therefore, space sucks. Vampires also suck. A really bad vampire movie set in space would have twice the sucking power, right?

It started with what could have been a fun premise. Retelling Bram Stoker's Dracula story in the future. There's a salvage crew that's sent out to investigate a cargo ship that's lost in space called the Demeter. Fans of the original novel will unwittingly assume that this is to be a straightforward retelling of Dracula set in the future... unfortunately, short of sharing character names, this one takes the lowbrow route and goes into the B-movie galaxy twenty minutes later when Coolio becomes a vampire. Trust me when I tell you he's the best actor in the movie, and that's not saying much.

Casper Van Dien should be peddling his wares on daytime television. Erika Eleniak should have quit after she left Baywatch and poor Udo Kier is having trouble reading from the cue cards. The guy who plays Dracula in this one is more ridiculous than Frank Langella was in the 1970's version. If you can manage to sit through the whole movie, you will be rewarded with the worst ending imaginable. The ending makes one wonder if the actors and the crew realized what a piece of garbage they were making and walked off the set.

Take heed, vampire fans. This one sucks twice as hard.

I rented "Dracula 3000" (which has no connection with the decent flick "Dracula 2000" by the way) thinking that it was gonna be a pretty fun movie. I was DEAD WRONG. I actually was one of those people who don't complain every time they decide to set something in space. I thought "Jason X" was flawed but still cheesy fun and enjoyable, so when I heard about the concept, vampires in space I thought "well, there's no daylight in deep space... maybe it could work" and maybe I was right. If the movie had a bigger budget than a couple of dollars and change it could've worked a little bit. This movie was BAD ON EPIC PROPORTIONS. It wasn't bad as in funny... it was bad as in pathetic, slow, boring and I felt the embarrassment that this film exists in the same planet that I exist. The horrible cast and acting was just the top of the iceberg. The movie has no redeeming values whatsoever... TAKE NOTE OK?? NO GORE... NO ACTION... NOT EVEN NUDITY... NOTHING. A complete bore, pointless and horrible, and I'm not exaggerating one bit. This movie stinks like no other. EASILY... ONE OF THE WORST FILMS I'VE EVER SEEN ON MY LIFE.

SKIP IT. PLEASE, DO YOURSELF THAT FAVOR.

This might quite possibly be the worst movie I have ever seen. I knew it was a B-movie before watching it (it was actually the reason for watching it), but I'd never thought it could be this bad. The title promises Dracula in space and does deliver, however, the story makes no real use of the fact that Casper van Dien's character is a descendant of Van Helsing. And watch out for the ending of the movie, it comes at you fast. I've never seen an ending scream out "And now we're over budget!" in a clearer fashion. Their resolution of the movie was rather comic though, the story had so obviously painted itself into a corner. If you feel you have to see it, watch it with a friend who shares your love of B-movies. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have made it to the end.

A space ship cruising through the galaxy encounters a mysterious cargo ship apparently adrift in space. The crew investigates, hoping to lay claim to its cargo and acquire the ship. However, once aboard the ominous vessel, their own ship mysteriously disengages, leaving them to fend for themselves and battle none other then Count Dracula or Orloff as this creature calls himself.

Not a bad start. I mean it follows any number of typical sci-fi/horror plots. The genres have been around enough that even the most original story will inevitably invoke comparison to some other film. But, when you start with a fairly typical horror convention, the legend of Dracula and vampires in general, and combine it with a fairly typical sci-fi convention, a crew happening upon something and becoming marooned to battle whatever they're forced to confront, the filmmakers better have some clever up their sleeve to imprint their own mark on the familiar genre staples.

Director Darrell Roodt, who also wrote Dracula 3000 with Ivan Milborrow, is primarily responsible for this utter failure. So, no, Roodt and Milborrow have nothing up their sleeves but their arms.

This film begins ominously enough, with a very poorly delivered voice over by Caspar Van Dien, essentially providing enough exposition to explain who the crew on his ship are. I should also point out that Van Dien's character is named Van Helsing. And, oh so very cleverly, this Orloff character is from planet Transylvania in the Carpathian System. No kidding. I mean, come on guys, we get it. And, again, don't be goofy and use such names unless you got something special in store.

So, after Van Helsing's introduction of the crew, we have, essentially, a film about this crew trapped in a space ship with a vampire lurking about.

I'm a very forgiving viewer when it comes to low budget films. Occasionally, they can be brilliant, see Raimi's first two Evil Dead films. Dracula 3000 had a decent budget, enough for some decent special effects and for the salaries of 3rd stringers like, Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio, etc. However, unlike, the EVIL DEAD flicks, there is no talent behind the camera. In front of the camera, the talent is marginal, but I'm going to give the actors some benefit of the doubt. It really seems like they don't know what to do. The best actor of the bunch, Alexandra Kamp-Groenveld, gets killed off quickly and the ever-enjoyable Udo Kier is reduced to being an exposition vehicle for the viewer as the deceased captain we hear and see via a video journal. Grant Swandby is also okay as the Professor, but it's hard to take seriously a scientist in the year 3000 who wears glasses and rides a wheel chair. And, yes, it's a WHEEL chair as in there is nothing futuristic about it. As for the rest of the actors, well…….I'm sure Coolio really tried to be scary after getting turned into a vampire, but, well, I don't think irritating qualifies as scary in most people's book. Tiny Lister and Erika Eleniak don't really provide much either. Lister is never really more then the IL' big brawny black stereotype. Eleniak actually appears unhappy throughout the film and never tries very hard. Eleniak is a pretty girl, even in her mid thirties, but looks a little worn out and uninterested for the movie's duration.

This brings us to Count Dracula/Orloff played by Langley Kirkwood. To be honest, I can't recall who exactly the vampire is supposed to be. He introduces himself as Orloff but at some point he acknowledges himself as Count Dracula as well. Go figure. In any case, you will be absolutely astounded by just how lame this vampire is. Have you ever scene those cheesy horror show hosts local networks would have on their creature feature time slots? Yes, it's that bad. Langley Kirkwood, the actor playing Orlock, must have found it almost impossible to concentrate in such a ridiculous outfit. I'm sure he's still getting hassled by his friends.

There isn't much to the plot. The vampire is the last of it's kind and wants to go to Earth, for some reason, and also, there is some lip service about wanting to defeat Caspar Van Dien's character, Van Helsing. Most of the crew get turned into vampires, including Van Helsing, and the crew use conventional machine guns and pistols to try and defeat them before they figure out the old stake in the heart routine. Yeah, that's right, bullets, and yes, the year 3000. Keeping in that baffling vein, one of the main areas the crew hole themselves up in while battling the vampires, or vampire, since there is really never more then one threatening them, is filled with old Soviet posters and insignia and such. What the? There are also references to God/religion being antiquated systems. But these references only confused me. Did the Soviet Union make a comeback? Is there some point Roodt and Milborrow want to make with this? It never really goes anywhere, seems dumb and the posters, etc. just look cheap.

On the positive side, the film is competently shot and edited. The cinematography is nothing spectacular, but it's clearly done by professionals and, I had no problem with the special effects. The ships look like ships in outer space. Although, as I write this, I recall how god awful the corpse of the captain looks when the crew discover him. What were they thinking? Why didn't someone say something? See how difficult it is to say something positive about this film without falling back on the negatives? I guess, ultimately, that's the thing. Whatever positives you try and grant this sci-fi/horror debacle, you become overwhelmed by it's lack of quality.

Poor Udo Kier.

My goodness. And here I thought that there were no directors worse than Uwe Boll.

Imagine the number of decisions necessary to produce a motion picture. Conceptual approval. Scriptwriting. Dialogue editing. Casting. Set and prop design. Location selection. Acting. Timing. Cinematography. Lighting. Music. Sound and video editing. Direction.

Now imagine that every single one of those decisions was made wrong.

Result: Dracula 3000.

For a film supposedly set in the 2900s, this movie looks surprisingly like a cheap gangsta flick of the 1970's. The set is ridiculous for the period. The dialogue is atrocious. The timing of each scene is ludicrous. The acting is beyond abysmal. Everything stinks.

Let's just take props, for example. If you have a movie set on a space freighter built in 2900, how likely is it that it will have the exposed piping and hydraulic doors of a 1960's era oil tanker? What, technology hasn't changed in 900 years? The 'Professor' uses a standard tandy keyboard and Radio-Shack flipswitches to "reprogram" the computer. What, they haven't figured out voice control yet? Of course, the Prof is tethered to a wheelchair. With wheels. Even though, you know, they've got intergalactic hyperdrive...but apparently not even a motorized wheelchair, much less a floating one, or bionic legs or something. And apparently this freighter was carrying an intergalactic consignment of rosewood caskets. How convenient. Then there are the weapons -- the crew carry standard late 20th-century firearms. In a ship. In the vacuum of space, where one bullethole would kill them all. Nice planning there, prop department.

Oh, why go on.

Being a huge horror movie fan, one of the most difficult things to be considering the lack of abundance of good movies in the genre, and having seen hundreds of them in my lifetime, I have to say that Dracula 3000 is by far the most uninspired, lame and poorly done piece of trash I have had the misfortune to see. STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE! It's so bad it's not even laughable. The special effects (did I say "special"?) were probably achieved spending a couple of grand, the acting is terrible and the script should have ended up in the trash bin after the first read by the studio that decided to take on this miserable project. The whole movie was literally filmed in a warehouse. Also, for you guys out there who like nudity in your movies, don't be fooled by the R rating. If you're thinking you get a chance to see Erika Eleniak even half-naked, you're wrong. She is fully clothed throughout the entire movie. And the cover art is completely misleading! There is no scene in any part of the movie that even marginally resembles the awesome cover art they put on the box to draw unsuspecting horror fans.

Too bad the rating is only 1 to 10. I would give this movie a -10. Be warned. Don't waste your money or your time on this one.

Dracula 3000 is the epitome of painfully cheesy cinema. From the get-go, I assumed I was in for something pretty nasty. With a cast line up that featured Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio, and Tiny Lister, what could be expected? Well, let's just say that expectations were crushed...

If I really start up, I feel like this review will go on for ages, so we're gonna keep this simple. The vampire isn't even named Dracula. The space crew is carrying coffins from the Carpathian sector of the Transylvania system. In his big scene, Coolio speaks of the most horrible things ever spoken of in film history. In the year 3000, everyone wears bad clothes by today's standards, they don't have anything more advanced than a modern wheelchair, and they decorate with neon lights that appear stolen from a roller rink.

To top it all off... the ending. Sweet merciful God. It doesn't deserve to be ruined. It has to be sen to be believed.

I've rated this movie a "1" and I wish I could give it a zero... yet I feel compelled to make you watch it. What madness is this?

Greetings from Lithuania.

This is the first question that comes to head after watching this "movie".

You know, I saw a lot of bad movies in my life, but after watching this one, i only had two questions: 1) Is this was just a parody (spoof)

2) How could people create such a thing!?

If You never saw this "film", than you REALLY don't know what is a REALLY bad "film". I mean BAD. The script - Are you kidding my? Acting is so horrible that i thing "the actors" where just having fun in this movie. I know, this is "B" movie, but come on?? Is this have to be a reason to be such a garbage??

Oh! And what an ending!!! A must miss ending! Just when you thing that this is the worst thing you have ever saw, wait until the ending - because THAT kind of ending You have NEVER saw before (and I hope You will never see).

Awoid this "movie" at any cost, and don't say i didn't warn you...

I rented this movie not knowing what to expect but WHOA was I in for a treat!

For anyone who, like myself, was waiting for a good movie that combined horror and sci fi, it is time to rejoice because the wait has finally ended. Writing, acting, filming and directing - all top notch. I hate to admit it, but I actually cried at one point (when Dracula was talking to the crippled guy). Truly an emotional roller-coaster from start to finish. The corridors of the ship provided the perfect spooky setting for this tale and the actors were really able to make their fear come alive to me. And Coolio as a vampire....very nice!

And believe me....as great as the bulk of the movie was...the ending will BLOW YOU AWAY! I know this movie gets a lot of flack on this site for some reason but I know NONE of you saw the ending coming. Brilliant!

A salvage ship on a routine mission discovers a transporter vessel that had been reported missing 100 years earlier. When the salvage crew boards the vessel, they discover many many many long black coffins with sand in them. In the blackness of space where the sun never rises the ancient curse that this mysterious cargo carries begins to eliminate the crew one by one. So we have a underrated sci fi horror film right here starring Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio, Tiny Lister, and Udo Kier. Lets see what can i say the Cgi is bad very bad, the acting is OK and the story is well...... I read it to you what do you think? I noticed how many people gave this movie such low rating and I think they expect to much out of this movie i mean you have to remember its a Sci Fi movie a cheap movie not some big budget feature. Now my likes about this movie, The turns this movie takes you get you hero movies where the main character is the big guy who saves everyone well not here im not going to spoil anything though just expect the unexpected. But i bet your wondering how Dracula got loose on a Ship thats been missing for a hundred years right? coolio finds the coffins hoping for something to smoke or thats worth a lot of cash, but cuts himself prying open a coffin and the blood gets in the sand thus awaking Dracula. Coolios character is funny and crazy and way over the top but i like him. This movie is funny when needed it won't scare you but i think you will be entertained cause yes there's some action and things take off pretty quick not much more i can really tell you check it out yourself but keep what i told you in mind.

Let's look at what we have here guys! We may all be doing Roodt's spaced-out vampire epic a disservice!

Like where else you ever gonna see a girl strapped to a lounge offering her captor the opportunity to check "every square inch of her body" for a bite-mark. Peter Cushing never got that lucky!

What's the chance of ever hearing that immortal line "I wanna ejaculate all over your bazonkas" uttered again in a thousand years or viewing?

Who can ever again hope to experience the thrill of the chase, supposedly in a galaxy far far away - but looking like it was filmed in the boiler room of some retired battleship from World War 2?

And then, the spectacle of Udo Kier in his twilight years having inordinate difficulty reading off his own cue cards? You're talking movie magic here!

But I digress, Dracula 3000 (It was meant to be $3.00 btw) leaves every other horror film pretender floundering in its wake when it comes to endings - it achieves the unattainable - there IS NO ENDING!

Humvee doesn't get to have sex with his re-programmed pleasure robot. No one ever reaches the twin-sun. Dracula isn't staked by Van Helsing's great great grandson....he ISN'T even Dracula....just a fashion-wimp sobbing his guts out on the floor because his arm happens to fall off!

Yes my friends, you have all missed the greatness here - a film bigger than life itself. A movie event so bad, so trivial and so irredeemably embarrassing - its like may never be seen again.

Casper Van Dien RIP

This has got to be the worst movie ever made. This is one of those movies that you need to watch once in order to be able to say how bad it was. I have seen some pretty bad stuff, but I really do think that this takes the cake. The acting was atrocious, especially considering that the director saw fit to cast Coolio. The camera work was horrible, bouncy and shaky, and looked like a hand-held camera running down the halls to symbolize Dracula. The ending is so abrupt and so random that you are left staring at the screen waiting for someone to come out and say that it was just a big joke. All in all, this is the worst way to waste a couple of hours ever. Still, you need to watch this in order to make other people watch it so that they can hate you for the rest of their lives.

Oh dear Gods, this is awful. Stay away, just stay away. If you think you've seen bad movies, think again. Never before has my brain hurt as much as it did after I watched this movie. The acting, if it is allowed to be called that, is enough to cause internal bleedings inside your head. The story is so thin it is just barely there... no wait, scratch that. There is not a complete story there, but once in a while, there is a few thin lines that stick up from all the amount of horribleness, and believe me, those few lines should have been shot. The best way to enjoy this movie is to drop napalm on it, and watch the cozy fire from a distance.

Some may call me sarcastic in this review, but I am only trying to spare some of you of a serious headache. However, should you be, what I like to call, a visual masochist (like myself), please, go right ahead and watch this monstrosity.

Hmmm! is it worst film ever? well sort of, for some of the cast its a shame to see them in such a film but hey if it pays the bills why not, as for the film well. OK cg effects not to bad for such a cheap film ,music is just about OK again for a cheap film, end credits are OK lol

BAD to many to list but, cast, acting, sets, script, ending..what the hell ,Drac..........worst Drac EVER!, many more but can not be bothered to put them all down.

Idea was OK but needed ten times the budget and more thought and much better lighting and style and change all bad points, i do say however to see this film so you to can say"What the FU%$ was that all about"as the credits run.Also its kind of a must see just to see how bad it is.

Just look at the cast and read the synopsis and then think of how silly those elements can be and you know you're in for a good time. It seems pretty clear they ran out of money or for some other reason never really shot the ending. Yes, I know films are shot out of sequence but the ending would have involved lots of special effects and perhaps they just gave up.

A silly inept film. The Rapper gives the best performance, but that's been the case in other movies. Probably one of the worst Dracula movies but that would be a stiff race to decide. But this is entertaining badness, fast paced, ridiculous, with the occasional out of left field surprise to keep it going. The director began his career with some rather serious films but he's either lost all sense of what to do or some other tragedy has overtaken him.

Fans of bad movies check it out. This is one of those films that makes the distributor Lion's Gate seem like Troama--a company that prides itself on badness and entertains as such. Unfortunately most of Lion's Gate bad output is just unwatchable bad, but this one is a gem.

In the year 3000, the deep space salvage ship Mother III locates the vanished starship Demeter in the Carpathian System. Captain Abraham Van Helsing (Casper Van Dien) and his crew composed of the blonde assistant Aurora Ash (Erika Eleniak); the crippled navigator Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood (Grant Swanby), who believes that he is a genius; the strong and dumb Humvee (Tommy Tiny Lister); the intern Mina Murry (Alexandra Kamp); and the drug addicted 187 (Coolio), decide to claim the possession of Demeter. While exploring the spacecraft, they see a tape of fifty years ago of Captain Varna (Udo Kier) telling that he was locked in his cabin since his crew was acting weird after getting a cargo of coffins in Transylvania station. When 187 decides to search in the coffins for some possible hidden dope, he cuts his hand and his blood awakes Count Orlock, a.k.a. Count Dracula (Langley Kirkwood). When Aurora discloses who Dracula is, the survivors try to find a way to destroy the vampire.

"Dracula 3000" is silly, flawed, cheesy, has poor special effects and bad lines, but it is very funny. Casper Van Dien has a very reasonable performance in the role of a captain of a spaceship with a crew of morons; Coolio is simply hilarious and is the best character, specially when he is transformed in a vampire; Langley Kirkwood is miscast, his Dracula is very weak, and I laughed when he has a severed arm; Erika Eleniak is still a very beautiful woman with an attractive body; Tommy Tiny Lister, Grant Swanby and Alexandra Kamp completes the cast of this low budget movie with many funny dialogs and moments. I am not sure whether director and writer Darrell Roodt is descendant of Ed Wood, but in the end, I liked this little film. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Drácula 3000 - Escuridão Infinita" ("Dracula 3000 - Infinite Darkness")