Midsomer Murders (TV Series)

Death in Disguise (1998)

Judy Cornwell: May Cuttle

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after Craigie has been killed by a knife in the chest] 

  May Cuttle : Inspector, I know you think the master was probably murdered, but you are going about this in quite the wrong way!

  D.C.I. Barnaby : And how would you describe his present situation?

  Heather Beavers : Well, it's obvious. He's been astrally harvested.

  [rolls her eyes] 

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Then how do you explain a carving knife stuck in his chest?

  Heather Beavers : A celestial lance.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : With "Made in Sheffield" stamped on it?

• D.C.I. Barnaby : Bad moment?

  May Cuttle : No, no. Memories, inspector. Grief and joy... mixing like pork and mustard. Not that I've had pork in years.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : [deboning a fish]  Greater love hath no fish that then he should lay down his life for my lunch. How's the sauce coming?

  Joyce Barnaby : It's a wee bit lumpy. Tastes okay, though.

  Cully Barnaby : You remind me of someone. It's either Raymond Blanc or Jack the Ripper.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : You wait until you taste it.

  Joyce Barnaby : It still looks a bit funny.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : [Barnaby goes to throw the bones out when he sees May Cuttle]  it's that May Cuttle from the lodge of the...

  Cully Barnaby : Oh, the commune.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Yeah, the commune up the manor. She's here again. Say what you like, but I'm not here!

  Joyce Barnaby : Leave her to me!

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Treats me like her local Bobby!

  Cully Barnaby : Well, because that's what you are, Dad.

  Joyce Barnaby : I am, I can, I will get rid of her!

  [pause] 

  Joyce Barnaby : Ms. Cuttle. Actually we just...

  May Cuttle : This is terribly urgent!

  Joyce Barnaby : Miss Cuttle, uh...

  May Cuttle : [searches through the house]  Um, Mr. Barnaby,

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Yes, Miss Cuttle. How are you?

  May Cuttle : I'm in the pink, Mr. Barnaby.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh, good.

  May Cuttle : Alas, Mr. Carter is a definite shade of gray!

• Arno Gibbs : I swear I had no idea there was a new will or that we were named in it.

  May Cuttle : Of course, you know what it means, don't you?

  Arno Gibbs : Tell me.

  May Cuttle : With all our new responsibilities and everything, I'm afraid we shall have to grow up.