PaRappa the Rapper 2 (2001 Video Game)

Andrew Alonso: Colonel Noodle

Quotes 

• PaRappa : [to Colonel Noodle]  What do you think you're doing?

  Colonel Noodle : Shut up! I hate burgers and I'll tell you why. I was destined to become a burger shop owner from the day I was born. My Dad was so into burger research that all I got to eat was burgers, burgers, burgers. Burgers for a snack, burgers for breakfast, burgers for lunch and burgers for dinner. Even at my own birthday party, hamburger, cheeseburger, hamburger, cheeseburger, bacon burger... All my friends hated me for that. Even, even my Mother. She ate so many burgers that...

  PaRappa : [shocked]  Did she pass away?

  Colonel Noodle : No, she turned into one.

• Colonel Noodle : Yeah, yeah, we're gonna bring it down like this, y'all! I'm gonna let my man Parappa know that noodles rule the world. Yeah, yeah, that lil' slippery thing tastes so good all the time. It goes a little something like this. Stay with me now, here we go.

  [Colonel Noodle begins the rap feud] 

  Colonel Noodle : In parenthesis, let me stress the fact clearly. No matter what the deal, I crave for this dearly. The so-called noodles that you find in spaghetti are sweeter than idols, do damage like machetes. Without a doubt, I got da flow, comin' at ya live, bring the place alive, every single day I jive. With the thought comes my direct actions. Ask my followers, they'll say it's an addiction.

• Colonel Noodle : Slurp it, suck it, I know you all like it.

  PaRappa : Slurp it, suck it, I know we all like it.

  Colonel Noodle : Smell it, taste it, pasta in a market.

  PaRappa : Smell it, taste it, fruit in a basket.

  Colonel Noodle : Chinese, Italian, Thai or Jamaican...

  PaRappa : Mexican, Egyptian, English, Korean...

  Colonel Noodle : Anything goes, even Hawaiian.

  PaRappa : Anything goes, even Alaskan.

  Colonel Noodle : Long and chewy, occasionally gooey. The best things in life taste good with chop suey. 8 minutes to boil and 2 minutes to eat. Admit it, kid, you know noodles can't be beat.

• Colonel Noodle : Roll it on your spoon. Create your own boom.

  PaRappa : Roll it on my spoon. Create my own boom.

  Colonel Noodle : I betcha didn't know. Noodles' the rules.

  PaRappa : I betcha didn't know. There are no rules.

  Colonel Noodle : Sushi, burgers, they all taste good.

  PaRappa : Pizza, burritos, they all taste good.

  Colonel Noodle : As long as they got noodles, the king of all foods.

  PaRappa : As long as they love food, then any thing's good.

• Colonel Noodle : Hip hop music with an old school twist. I keep the place intact and do a rap like this. You can use a spoon, fork, knife or even chopsticks. Come on, kid, get down with the mix. N, double O, D, L, E, S.

  PaRappa : C, double O, K, I, E, S.

  Colonel Noodle : Great tasting pasta, blow to your chest.

  PaRappa : Great tasting sweets, blow to my chest.

  Colonel Noodle : Ramen, udon, soba, you name it.

  PaRappa : Brownies, a pie, a shake, you name it.

  Colonel Noodle : Any type of noodles you like, yes, I got it.

  PaRappa : Any type of sweets you like, yes, I got it.

• Colonel Noodle : Whatever your thoughts may be, I'm bound to be the king of all foods with my noodles as the key, full of pride, and glory way up above, 'cause here I come, y'all, all full of noodles and love. Noodles are the best, no doubt, can't deny, taste better than water, but don't ask me why.

  PaRappa : Noodles are the best, no doubt, can't deny, taste better than water, but don't ask me why.

  Colonel Noodle : But then again, many things can be tasty, corn bread, potatoes, rice and even pastries.

  PaRappa : But then again, many things can be tasty, corn bread, potatoes, rice and even pastries.

  Colonel Noodle : Then why do I love noodles so dearly? It makes no sense. I must've sounded real eerie.

  PaRappa : Then why do you love noodles so dearly? It makes no sense. You must've sounded real eerie.

  Colonel Noodle : Thanks, brother, for lettin' me understand that a man must understand to keep his options open.

  PaRappa : You're welcome, brother, for lettin' you understand that a man must understand to keep his options open.

  [the rap feud has ended] 

  PaRappa : See? Noodles aren't the only food around, you know!

  Colonel Noodle : Yeah, you're right! I'm up for some noodle sushi!