(2003 TV Movie)

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8/10
Lots Of Skin & Sand
ccthemovieman-114 April 2008
This program was as much about showing skin as it was beaches. In fact, there were probably more shots of near-naked women in bikinis than there were showing actually beaches in Florida.....not that I'm complaining! But, really, this was a joke: more of a "peep show" for guys ogling 20-year-old "hot bodies: (the term they used over and over) than a travelogue of the beaches in the state of Florida. The comments made by the narrator and by political officials in the various areas were ludicrous, too. "This is the place where you leave your morals behind and party, party, party!" That was said by some "state official." Others echoed that with the mayor of Miami being the worst panderer of the "come see our sleaze" campaign.

Anyway, here is the program's Top Ten list (with a highlight or two, according to the TV show):

10 - Daytona Beach, where they let you drive on the beach and have a boardwalk with tons of stuff for college kids to do.

9 - Sanibel Island, known for its incredible sea shells, in volume and quality. Half of the beach-goers do the "Sanibel Stoop," meaning they are bent over looking for great shells.

8 - Panama City, which was promoted as a Sodom and Gomorrah-type place which transforms from a sleepy 30,000 population town to a half million during spring breaks! Pictured here were thousands of obnoxious drunken males and half-naked bimbos all shrieking as they made fools of themselves. If you want to be drunk and have sex all day, apparently this is the place to go.

7 - Sandspar Beach, in the Keys boasts a protected and unspoiled beach and Bahia Honda State Park, with no crowds or screaming kids.

6 - Smathers Beach, at the southern part of the Keys is actually closer to Havana, Cuba, than to mainline Florida! It may be isolated but plenty of college kids and the locals find all the bars and beaches.

5 - Clearwater Beach is for the boat lovers, with 35 miles of wide, white-sanded beaches on a string of islands. There is a "bounty of boats" in the marina and a Pirate Ship cruise the little kids will love.

4 - Lovers Key, just outside Ft. Myers, was unusual - at least as shown here - because they only pictured one couple and it appeared nobody else was there. This place is "for romantics," supposedly and offers "genuine seclusion" and "a sensual stretch of shoreline." (The writer of this show absolutely loves alliteration.)

3 - Palm Beach was put at number three for its wealth. This is the money people, the shallow writer boasted as they featured spoiled young women enjoying the ritzy Worth Avenue shops and the prestigious Breakers Hotel, which has its own private beach front.

2 - Siesta Key Beach, near Sarasota has "the world's purest and finest sand in the world," it was reported here. This sand is so soft and so cool to the touch that you never get your feet burned no matter how hot it is outside. This stuff - which is amazing - is great for making sand sculptures, too, as were pictured here.

1 - South Beach in Miami was listed number one by the hedonistic writer, narrator, mayor and people interviewed because it offered "the hottest bodies in the state," 70 restaurants, 40 nightclubs and a lot more including a haven for professional models during the winter. You can see topless women and the "nightlife is incredible."
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