Jack Gilford: Bernard Bernstein

Quotes 

• Bernard Bernstein : Tell me, how do you celebrate Brotherhood Week?

  Archie Bunker : Well, bein' an only child, I never do.

• Bernard Bernstein : Listen, Bunker, let's face it. It's possible that people like you and me were never meant to be rich.

  Archie Bunker : Oh, never say that.

  Bernard Bernstein : Why the hell not? It's true. Like my Tante Malka used to say, there are two kinds of losers: schlemiels and schlimazels. A schlemiel goes through life spilling soup. And a schlimazel's the guy he spills it on.

• Archie Bunker : [Bernard Bernstein visits to discuss Archie's investment in his invention, though Edith has serious reservations]  That's Bernstein. I'll get the door. Will you take the sour look off your face? You remind me of your mother.

  Archie Bunker : [he opens the door]  Hi-ya there, partner, come on in, come on in, Bernstein, come on in the house here, and welcome to our home. And as youse people say, Sh-boom.

  Bernard Bernstein : [Bernstein decides not to make a point of Archie's ignorance]  And Sh-boom to you, Bunker. And to you, Mrs Bunker, Shalom.

  Edith Bunker : Shalom, Mr Bernstein.