Barney Miller (TV Series)

Voice Analyzer (1979)

George Murdock: Lt. Ben Scanlon

Quotes 

• Capt. Barney Miller : Sorry to disappoint you Scanlon,.

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : I beg your pardon

  Capt. Barney Miller : I am not volunteering to take this test

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : You must be joking

  Capt. Barney Miller : You seem to be missing the point Scanlon, I never joke with you. I take you very, very, seriously.

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : Hey, wait a minute, you do not want to take this test, it's all right with me. It will be duly noted of course, along with any kind of reason by way of explanation you may want to enter into the record

  Capt. Barney Miller : My reason...

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : Yeah

  Capt. Barney Miller : Failure of Sergeant Wojciehowicz. You see, I know he telling the truth, ergo the machine is inaccurate

  Mr. Sanders : That's not true

  Capt. Barney Miller : Sorry, Mr. Sanders, I know you put a lot of time and effort into this

  Mr. Sanders : Time and effort... what about body and soul, uh, knowledge, sweat... l what about love?

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : Don't you go weird on me, Sanders?

  Capt. Barney Miller : It doesn't work

  Mr. Sanders : It works !

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : Of course it works. It work's damn good .

  Capt. Barney Miller : Scanlon, your not here because of any concrete evidence you may have against me or my men. Your on a witch hunt.

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : Wait a minute. Your accusing me of a personal vendetta or something ?

  Capt. Barney Miller : You may not be fast, Scanlon, but you're accurate.

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : The only reason I am here is because of specific charges against this squad... I mean I am not here out of any personal distaste I may have for you or your men... You -- shut the hell up !

  Capt. Barney Miller : I apologize Inspector, there does to seem to be an argument for the accuracy of this machine

  Mr. Sanders : Of course there is.

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : Now, wait a minute. Now... What the hell are you trying to pull Miller

  Mr. Sanders : Nothing, it's just along with Sergeant Wojciehowicz's results that last assessment by this machine will also go into the record. It picks up on malice aforethought very discerningly

  Mr. Sanders : Oh absolutely

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : Now wait a minute

  Capt. Barney Miller : One thing goes into the record, everything goes into the record.

  Lt. Ben Scanlon : All right. It's all right with me.