Bewitched (TV Series)

Remember the Main (1965)

Agnes Moorehead: Endora

Quotes 

• Samantha Stephens : We are the bright girls. Rally round for Wright girls. That isn't funny, Mother.

  Endora : On the contrary, it's hysterical. What was that incantation you were gyrating through?

  Samantha Stephens : That isn't an incantation, it's a cheer.

  Endora : What does it do?

  Samantha Stephens : It doesn't do anything.

  Endora : Then why were you doing it?

• Samantha Stephens : Politics is a very serious business.

  Endora : Only to politicians, my dear child.

• Samantha Stephens : My husband happens to be very proud of me.

  Endora : For what?

  Samantha Stephens : For taking a position.

  Endora : I don't know what you're talking about. And neither do you.

• Endora : I suppose all this was Darwin's idea.

  Samantha Stephens : Mother, Darwin's idea was that man was descended from apes. This was my idea.

  Endora : Descended from the ape? Man?

  Samantha Stephens : It's called the theory of evolution.

  Endora : Pity to disillusion him. Other way around, actually.

• Endora : Have I ever let you down?

• Endora : Doesn't he understand that this latest project of Cavanaugh's... is the only legitimate thing the man has done in his life?

  Samantha Stephens : We have no proof of that.

  Endora : Well, just looking at the man is proof enough.

• Samantha Stephens : Would you get the file on the gas main? It was handled by the Oster-Halth Pipe Company.

  Endora : O or P?

• Endora : Oh, there's a simple way to handle this, but Donald wouldn't approve. On the other hand... what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

• Endora : Have you heard about the flood?

  Samantha Stephens : Oh, now, Mother...

  Darrin Stephens : You mean it was you?

  Endora : I'd certainly like to know who else.

• Endora : And everyone else has been perfectly miserable... because a water main hasn't burst. So I just thought I'd burst one.

• Darrin Stephens : Sedgwick called Ed... and said that he was wrong... and they'll probably reopen the investigation... and examine all of Mr. Cavanaugh's past dealings.

  Endora : Isn't that what I said?

  Samantha Stephens : Yes, Mother.

  Endora : Isn't that what he wanted?

  Samantha Stephens : Yes, Mother.

  Endora : Well, what's he's so unhappy about?

• Endora : I saw you on television, young man. It was most effective.

  Ed Wright : You're very kind, Mrs... Mrs...?

  Endora : Waters.

• Endora : It's the greatest thing I've seen since the Lincoln-Douglas debates.

  Ed Wright : Hey, your mother has a great sense of humour.

• Samantha Stephens : According to these records... Darrin and Mr. Wright pounced on Mr. Cavanaugh... at the only time he was honest in his whole life.

  Endora : Oh, that husband of yours is a lulu.