Bewitched (TV Series)

The Joker Is a Card (1965)

Elizabeth Montgomery: Samantha Stephens

Photos 

Quotes 

• Samantha Stephens : [after Darrin says Endora "has been asking for that for a long time" and he repeats the Yaga-Zuzi incantation & dance]  Mother, have you been asking for that?

• Uncle Arthur : [Uncle Arthur's head is sticking out of a plate on the table]  Forgive me for not rising, but I'm up to my neck in work.

  Samantha Stephens : Darrin, say hello to Uncle Arthur.

• Samantha Stephens : [refers to uncle Arthur]  Now, I love him, despite his practical jokes. He's my favorite uncle. Why, do you know, when I was a little girl, he thought me to make my first pony?

  Darrin Stephens : Honey, I don't care. I don't want... - He what?

  Samantha Stephens : I was only four. I couldn't get the spell right. I remember I got one horseshoe and the saddle, but I just couldn't...

  Darrin Stephens : Sam, what are we gonna do about him?

  Samantha Stephens : Try to put up with his bad jokes and be nice to him. Please.

• Samantha Stephens : Mother I want you to be gracious about this. I think it's very big of Darrin to apologize to you... after all you've done to him.

  Endora : [acts very innocently]  What have I done to him?

  Samantha Stephens : If you'd like me to start at the beginning. On our wedding night, you put him into the hotel lobby in his pajamas.

  [starts counting with fingers] 

  Samantha Stephens : Then...

  Endora : I mean recently?

  Samantha Stephens : How recently?

  Endora : Well, we won't go into that.

  Samantha Stephens : Oh, now, Mother. You must've done something. Darrin hasn't been himself all day.

  Endora : Oh, how fortunate for you.

• [last lines] 

  Samantha Stephens : Uncle Arthur. You promised you wouldn't.

  Uncle Arthur : I know. I lied. Okay, so I'll taper off.