M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Operation Noselift (1974)
Larry Linville: Maj. Frank Burns
Quotes
-
Maj. Frank Burns : [walking from Henry's office into Radar's office] What are you doing here?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : [nervously, while holding a phone receiver up to his ear] I was drafted, sir.
Maj. Frank Burns : Your nose is supposed to be broken.
[Taps Radar's nose]
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Uh, yes, well Dr. Pierce said it was just a sprain and if I kept off it for a month I'll only have to put liquids in it.
Maj. Frank Burns : [Raising his voice in agitation] I'm a doctor, and that's crazy!
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : I've heard that, sir.
Maj. Frank Burns : I have bigger fish to catch than you!
[Starts walking out of the office]
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Uh, uh, uh, er, Major? Telephone. It's your wife. Your anniversary call.
Maj. Frank Burns : Well that was last month.
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : It just got though.
[hands phone over to Frank and walks out of the office]
Maj. Frank Burns : Louise?
[excitedly]
Maj. Frank Burns : Yes it's me darling. How are you sweetheart?
[as Margaret walks into the office]
Maj. Frank Burns : Oh gosh, it's good to talk to you, honey!
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Who the HELL is THAT?
Maj. Frank Burns : [startled, covers phone receiver and turns toward Margaret] MY WIFE!
[returning to his call]
Maj. Frank Burns : What? Uh, uh.
[chuckles nervously]
Maj. Frank Burns : Oh, Major Houlihan just came in.
[turns back toward Margaret]
Maj. Frank Burns : Hi Jim!