Married... with Children (TV Series)

Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me (1989)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : Two months ago, I bought 20 pair of socks. Now I got 20 swinging singles with only one complete pair.

  Peggy Bundy : Then wear them.

  Al Bundy : I can't. They're the socks I got married in... the evil socks.

• Peggy Bundy : Al, maybe it's not too late to get Kelly out of this. Try saying something nice to Principal Wicker.

  [Al looks at the fat principal] 

  Al Bundy : You're looking less ugly tonight.

  Mrs. Wicker : If your daughter isn't great, she's out of here like spit through a trumpet.

  Al Bundy : There's no reaching her, Peg.

• Kelly Bundy : There's this guy at school... he is a God... the janitor at our school... so obviously, all the girls want him.

  Peggy Bundy : Ok, I'm with you, I'm with you.

  Kelly Bundy : Alright, so I've been playing it cool, you know, a little smile, a little wink, a little "Hey Bruno, look at this", you know, he's on the hook and I'm just about to land him. He thinks I'm cool, but if he sees me wearing these horseshoes, he's going to go for some other slut.

  [starts crying] 

  Kelly Bundy : Oh Mom!

• Bud Bundy : Mom, Dad, big news at school today.

  Al Bundy : All the guys are losing their socks while the girls in Home Ec giggle fiendishly?

  Bud Bundy : [ignores Al]  Mom, big news at school today. The tap-dancing club was doing a recital in the ghetto. Now, apparently, all the gangs banded together and attacked their bus. They couldn't figure out why, but it seems that someone spray-painted a slogan on the side of the bus that said, "We may be nerds, but at least we're not poor. Ha Ha."

  Peggy Bundy : That's terrible. Who would do a mean thing like that?

  Bud Bundy : I'll give you a hint. She lives here, has white hair, and misspelled "Ha Ha."

  Al Bundy : Oh, no. Not what's-her-name.

  Peggy Bundy : It's Kelly, Al.

  Al Bundy : Yeah, that's the one.

• Peggy Bundy : [after Kelly comes home from tap dancing]  Honey, what happened to your shoes?

  Kelly Bundy : Oh, same thing that happens to all nerds' possessions... The cool kids stole them and threw them down the sewer. Then they said, "Gee, I wish Kelly was here to see this girl crying."

• Peggy Bundy : [about the principal]  Well, what's she going to do to you?

  Kelly Bundy : I have to join the tap club.

  Peggy Bundy : With the nerds and the geeks?

  Kelly Bundy : Nerds, dips, feebs, and geeks. I either tap or I'm out of school. What would you do, Mom?

  Peggy Bundy : I'd quit school.

  Al Bundy : Way to go, Supermom.