Married... with Children (TV Series)

Eatin' Out (1989)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : [hands Kelly his car keys, to fetch his forgotten wallet]  Oh, and Kelly...?

  Kelly Bundy : [rolls eyes]  I know, I'll be careful.

  Al : Nah, I don't care about that. Just don't change my radio station.

• Al : We inherited a check for $237. We don't know what to do with it.

  Marcy Rhoades : Well let's see: charm school, car muffler, high hedges.

  Steve Rhoades : Your own newspaper subscription, your own garbage cans, bail money for the children.

• Kelly Bundy : You want me to throw a fit on the floor like I do when we can't pay at Denny's?

  Al : That was for $3.95. For $225, they'll let you swallow your tongue before they call and ambulance.

• Al : Peg, it's been 2 1/2 hours. It's safe to say the kids have left us here to die.

  Peggy Bundy : I can't believe the kids would do this to us.

  Al : Yeah, like we wouldn't do it to them.

• Al : [pulling an inheritance check out of its envelope, slowly]  I see a seven... I see a three... I see a two...

  Bud Bundy : [excitedly]  What do you see now, Dad?!

  Al : [rolling eyes]  I see a check for two hundred and thirty-seven dollars.

  Bud Bundy : [disappointed]  I buffed this man's *carbuncles* for two hundred and thirty-seven *dollars*?!

• Al : [ordering dinner for everyone, in a high-class restaurant]  Give us four steaks. Nuke 'em.

• Al : [stalling, while Kelly goes to get his wallet]  How's about some more water? Y'know, it's nature's fruit juice!