Midsomer Murders (TV Series)

Faithful unto Death (1998)

John Nettles: DCI Tom Barnaby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elfrida Molfrey : [Barnaby has influenced Elfrida and Bunny to get rid of their marijuana plants]  You really are a most charming and gracious man, and if I were forty years younger, I'd take a real flyer at you!

  D.C.I. Barnaby : If you were forty years younger, Miss Molfrey, I'd charge you with supplying cannabis.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : You really don't have a soft pedal when it comes to the English language, do you, Troy?

• D.C.I. Barnaby : [holding a coconut]  This is a very moving moment for me, George. It's the first time in my life I've ever won anything. Thank you.

  Dr. Bullard : It'll be rotten inside, I guarantee.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : You are just jealous because I'ave got a coconut and you haven't.

• Joyce Barnaby : It seems the only honest people in Morton Fendle are Bunny and Elfrida.

  Cully Barnaby : Apart from their draw, that is.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Yeah. What?

  Cully Barnaby : The marijuana. He grows it in the greenhouse. What they don't smoke themselves he puts in the Bunny cakes.

  [pause] 

  Cully Barnaby : I thought you knew and were turning a blind eye.

• [DCI Barnaby and Sgt. Troy are discussing the case while Troy is driving] 

  D.C.I. Barnaby : I'll tell you what does frighten me though.

  Sergeant Troy : What's that?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Your driving has improved. I saw you look in the mirror.

• Gray Patterson : Why are you here, Inspector?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Alan Hollingsworth. Yesterday you threatened to kill him.

  Gray Patterson : It's just words. Heat of the moment.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : That's when most murders occur.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : What line of business were you in?

  Harry Vellacott : Have a guess. I'm overweight. I drink too much. I smoke too much. I eat too much. I'm divorced and the kids don't want to know me. A jaundiced view of human nature. You're right, I was a copper.

• Sergeant Troy : [after leaving Gray Patterson's house]  I hate blokes like that. Silver spoon in his gob. Gregorio Falloni under his armpits.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : What?

  Sergeant Troy : Deodorant. 80 quid a bottle.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : What did you do think of that room?

  Sergeant Troy : Poncey.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : No school photos. No pictures with mum and dad. That is a man trying to lose his past. And if it's any help, he's no more of a toff than you are.

  Sergeant Troy : Grew up on the streets, did he?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Yeah, where else did he learn how to separate people from their money?

  Sergeant Troy : Or women from their husbands.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : [after ingesting the Bunny cakes]  You know, 10 minutes in your company and I feel... better. That's the only way to describe it, better.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : Nevertheless, we can forget it all happened. For a price.

  Gray Patterson : What?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : More, of course, than you offered Cath Bullard to push your plans.

  Gray Patterson : I never did any such thing!

  D.C.I. Barnaby : She's my friend. I believe her. Or perhaps it was of those heat of the moment things again.

  Gray Patterson : Yeah well, now that you come to mention it...

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Unlike the threat you made, which to me sounded very prepared.

  Sergeant Troy : If people don't get what's due them, others get hurt. You have such a lovely face. I'm sure you want to keep it.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Any man who says that to a woman is either desperate, or downright evil. Which are you?

• Sergeant Troy : They've already found it, empty.

  Nigel Anderson : Then he's paid up.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Either that or you took the money after you killed him.

  Nigel Anderson : No, no, no. I only wanted 1,500. My job was on the line. The money was borrowed, you see.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Borrowed?

  Nigel Anderson : From the brewery.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh, Nigel, you nicked it from the till. Oh, good god. From pompous ass to petty thief just like that, eh?

• Sergeant Troy : [about to go in through a suspect's window]  Shouldn't we have a warrant for this?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Yes, we should. You first. I'll hold your coat.

• Sergeant Troy : No tears, your friend Felicity.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : What do you mean, 'my friend'?

  Sergeant Troy : I thought you liked her.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Where was she when Brenda was killed, huh?

  Sergeant Troy : Shopping, she says. Her old man was gardening.

  [pause] 

  Sergeant Troy : No, women don't kill their daughters, do they?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : You mean you wish they didn't.

  Sergeant Troy : Yeah, she did grass on her husband. Off-loaded them both.

• [last lines] 

  Sergeant Troy : [answers phone]  Hello. Just a sec. Sir?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : What?

  Sergeant Troy : Sarah Lawton.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Who?

  Sergeant Troy : Sarah Lawton. Do you remember? She wants to talk to you.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Hello.

  [smiles] 

• D.C.I. Barnaby : How have they been getting on lately, Alan and Simone?

  Elfrida Molfrey : Oh, Inspector. We don't listen in keyholes.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh, come on, Miss Molfrey, of course you do.

• Cully Barnaby : Hey, Dad. That old lady over there, the mutton dressed as lamb, do you know her?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : That's a terrible thing to say, even though it's true. No, I don't.

  Cully Barnaby : No, she's that actress, Elfrida somebody. You know, come on. What's her name?

• D.C.I. Barnaby : You waited until Ms. Molfrey was safely asleep and then you let yourself into Alan's house.

  Sarah Lawton : How did I manage to get in? Did I break down a door, or did I use a kitchen window like the police do?

  Sergeant Troy : [Holds up a key in a clear bag]  The key to the back door. Simone's key. I found it amongst your underwear.

  Simone Hollingsworth : Hmmmph.

  Sergeant Troy : Strange place to keep it.

  Sarah Lawton : Strange place to look for it.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : I'm going to clean up that cesspit known as Morton Fendle. I'll have that Gray Patterson for starters, for bribing Cathy Bullard.

  Joyce Barnaby : She seems fine about it now.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Well, okay then. Reg Buckley, hm, for skimming the milk fund to buy 3,000 pounds worth of hi-fi.

  Cully Barnaby : 3,000?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : 3,000. You know what ours cost?

  Joyce Barnaby : 432 pounds.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : 432 pounds from Comet. Now what can he hear that I can't, huh?

  Cully Barnaby : So you don't think Reg has been punished enough for losing his daughter? Depends on your view of daughters, I suppose.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Well, at least let me have the Andersons. If self-importance is not a crime, it should be. Plus, they had their fingers in the till.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : [to Troy]  Get in touch with the Fraud Squad and see if they're interested in a fiddle in Morton Fendle.

• Dr. Bullard : I thought I should let you know, Nigel Anderson, our local wooden spoon, has called a meeting lunch time today, his pub.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh? What's the agenda?

  Dr. Bullard : How can those who put money into the mill project get it back.

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Yes. I can tell you the answer to that right now, they won't.

  Dr. Bullard : What do you mean we won't?

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh. Not you, too, George. How are the mighty shafted.

  [to Troy] 

  D.C.I. Barnaby : Hold it, mon frere. I think we should go to that meeting.

• D.C.I. Barnaby : Simone and Gray Patterson. Is there anything in that?

  Elfrida Molfrey : If I were 50 years younger, she wouldn't have stood a chance.