Nightmare Cafe (TV Series)

Nightmare Cafe (1992)

Jack Coleman: Frank Nolan

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [Frank hears Fay jump into the harbor and tries to rescue her] 

  Frank Nolan : Hey!... Hey!

  [after searching the dark water unsuccessfully, Frank climbs onto the pier, then bumps into Fay in the fog] 

  Frank Nolan : I thought you drowned. Are you okay?

  Fay Peronivic : Get away from me!

  Frank Nolan : What were you doin' out there? You need someone to talk to?

  Fay Peronivic : Do you think I need a shoulder to lean on? Wrong! You think you found a little lost lamb? You didn't!

  Frank Nolan : Got it. I think we could use a little hot coffee.

  Fay Peronivic : In your dreams!

  [Fay turns to where she hears the sound of a jukebox as a restaurant's "Open" sign suddenly flickers on. Fay and Frank are strangely attracted to the music and walk towards the cafe] 

• Frank Nolan : [introducing himself]  Frank Nolan.

  Fay Peronivic : Fay Peronivic.

  Frank Nolan : Fay's a pretty name. It means "beautiful" in Tahitian, I'm pretty sure.

  Fay Peronivic : I don't feel beautiful. I feel wet and I've got sand in...

  [inspects her dress] 

  Fay Peronivic : What's the Tahitian word for ugly?

  Frank Nolan : Yaf.

  Fay Peronivic : Yaf?

• Frank Nolan : Hello? Customers!

  [Frank finds the cafe's kitchen empty] 

  Fay Peronivic : Where the heck is everyone?

  Frank Nolan : What'll you have?

  Fay Peronivic : You can't do that!

  Frank Nolan : Sure I can. International rules of empty cafes - nobody home, you help yourself.

• [Frank touches Fay's shoulders as he walks past her behind the counter] 

  Fay Peronivic : Hey! Careful, Mister! I wrote the book on guys like you.

  Frank Nolan : "Friendly Men and How to Avoid Them"?

  Fay Peronivic : I'm spoken for.

  Frank Nolan : Lucky you... and lucky him.

• [shivering in her wet dress] 

  Fay Peronivic : Aren't you... cold?

  Frank Nolan : I've been colder. Once in Alaska, I lived on an iceberg for a year. 'Course at the time, I was...

  Fay Peronivic : ...married to a penguin.

  [Frank stares at Fay in disbelief] 

  Fay Peronivic : I heard that somewhere before. Sorry.

  Frank Nolan : I just made that up.

• [Frank turns on the TV and sees himself at his former job as a night watchman] 

  Frank Nolan : Who's that?

  Fay Peronivic : That's... Clark Kent. I hear he just got canned from The Daily Planet. Why don't you enjoy the movie and I'll get you another cup of coffee...

  Fay Peronivic : [slowly backs away from Frank]  ... in Ohio.

• [On the strange TV, Fay sees Frank's truck explode as he tries to escape] 

  Fay Peronivic : That's it, Frank? You're leaving me in this alone?

  [Fay takes Frank's dishes and is about to put them into the sink when Frank explodes out from the soapy water] 

  Frank Nolan : Miss me? You know what? I don't think this is your run-of-the-mill all-night café.

  [Frank pulls a crab out from under his shirt while Fay watches the water drain completely out of the small sink] 

• [Frank is watching Fay's nightmare reveal itself on a television screen] 

  Blackie : We open for business yet?

  Frank Nolan : No. Yes. We will be. Come back later.

  Blackie : Naw. I think I'll stick around for a while.

  Blackie : [breaking the fourth wall]  This ought to be interesting.

• Frank Nolan : You want to bet? I'm betting on Fay.

  Blackie : Aw, she's history.

  Frank Nolan : Says who?

  Blackie : Says all your worldly assets or a buck - whichever turns out to be more.

  Frank Nolan : You're on.

• [yelling at the TV screen] 

  Frank Nolan : Fay! Turn around!

  Blackie : I don't think she can hear you, pal.

  Frank Nolan : [softly]  Fay, I wish I could be there for you.

  [Frank disappears] 

  Blackie : Damn!

  Blackie : [breaking the fourth wall]  Of all the things he could have said. Beginner's luck!

• [Fay's game of chicken results in the gangsters driving off the pier] 

  Frank Nolan : Where did you learn to drive like that?

  Fay Peronivic : You haven't met my mother.

• Blackie : You bet on her. She's not betting on herself.

  Frank Nolan : You watch!

  Blackie : No... you watch and pay attention. This is the guy that cold-cocked you at the chemical plant and had you dumped in the bay - and this is the clown that Fay's in love with. Only trouble is, she doesn't know anything about him.

• [Fay steps to the edge of the pier and prepares to commit suicide by drowning] 

  Fay Peronivic : What am I doing here? I don't have to do this. Kill myself just because some guy dumps me? I'm punishing the wrong person! I'm as good as anybody.

  Frank Nolan : [from behind her]  Better than most.

• [Frank and Fay jump into the harbor fleeing from Al] 

  Fay Peronivic : I can't swim!

  Frank Nolan : Doesn't matter.

  Fay Peronivic : Help! Save us!

  Frank Nolan : Fay, nobody can save us.

  Fay Peronivic : Why not?

  Frank Nolan : Because we're already dead.

• Frank Nolan : What about you?

  Fay Peronivic : Yeahhh. Who are you anyway?

  Blackie : Aw, I'm just some guy who bet you wouldn't do the right thing... but you did.

  Frank Nolan : So you lost.

  Blackie : I lost on you, but wait till the customers start coming.

  Frank Nolan : When does that happen?

  Blackie : Oh, any time now. They come in, they get a cup of coffee, a couple eggs maybe and then, whatever they've got comin'. Could be a wish, a second chance or, if they deserve it, they're own worst nightmare.

• [Al is trying to flee the cafe] 

  Fay Peronivic : A cup of coffee, Al?

  Frank Nolan : What would you like for your last meal?

• [last lines] 

  [a knock at the café door startles Fay and Frank] 

  Blackie : Relax. It's just your first customer.

  Cafe Customer : Hi. You open?

  Frank Nolan : Yeah. Yeah, sure we're open! Come on in.