Porridge (TV Series)

Heartbreak Hotel (1975)

Richard Beckinsale: Lennie Godber

Quotes 

• Fletch : With you, it's different. I mean, you're young, you're healthy, you've got an honest face.

  Godber : Is that enough?

  Fletch : Yeah, I think so, yeah. Character, that's what I can read there. That's what you've got, son. Character. You're a good lad.

  Godber : So you think, Fletch, that if somebody cared for me, like, a girl, like, she'd... uh... forgive me past misdemeanours?

  Fletch : Yeah. If she's any sort of human being, yes she would, yeah. Any human being would. You see, you've got to learn to believe in yourself, ain't ya, eh? 'Cause I believe in ya.

  Godber : Do ya?

  Fletch : Of course I do, yeah.

  Godber : [handing him an envelope]  Oh, well, I'll post this, then. Could you get your mucker, Barrowclough to post it in the village for me quiet, like?

  Fletch : Who is it? BBC?

  Godber : Yeah. It's on plain notepaper, so they won't know it's from a prisoner.

  Fletch : "Hello Young Lovers Corner?" Is all this soul-searching just for the benefit of that slag Denise?

  Godber : No, not her!

  Fletch : Who, then?

  Godber : Ingrid.

  Fletch : ...my Ingrid?

  Godber : Our eyes met across the crowded room...

  Fletch : My daughter, Ingrid?

  Godber : And though we didn't know each other, we both knew...

  Fletch : You think I'd let my daughter Ingrid hang out with the likes of YOU, A JUVENILE DELINQUENT FROM THE BACK STREETS OF BIRMINGHAM?

  [grabs Godber] 

• Fletch : [on Godber]  'Ol love-lorn Lenny here wants to know whether the BBC ever play prisoner requests.

  Mackay : No. Oh no. The answer to that is no. On the grounds that it could cause embarrassment.

  Godber : Embarrassment?

  Mackay : To the prisoner's families. The families might've excused his absence by telling the neighbours that the felon in question was abroad, or working on a North Sea oil rig.

  Godber : Oh. I see.

  Mackay : No doubt your wife, Fletcher, has told your friends that you are on a five-year safari.

  [laughs] 

  Fletch : No, she just tells them I'm doing missionary work in Scotland.