Scrubs (TV Series)

My Unicorn (2004)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Quotes 

• Dr. Perry Cox : By the by, this moment is so great that I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one, and raise a family of tiny little moments.

• Dr. Perry Cox : I love this moment so much that I want to have sex with it.

• Dr. Perry Cox : Who gave you this number?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I'm asking for your help here.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Okay, but I think it's very important to focus on the "who gave you this number" issue.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Fine. Maybe I got too involved like you said, but would it kill you for once to acknowledge for that my heart was in the right place instead of spending all your time berating me.

  Dr. Perry Cox : You got this number from Jordan, didn't you? She hates me.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : You will never guess what I found on the computer?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Is it a set of adult male shoulders?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : They had to trim them to get me out of the well.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Oh, right.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [voice over]  If Murray could look past his dad's imperfections and appreciate all the time he'd given him, maybe I owe Dr. Cox a thank you for the same thing.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [aloud, to Dr. Cox]  Hey, I just want to take a second to thank you for constantly berating me, doubting my abilities, and the overall devastation of my self-esteem.

  Dr. Perry Cox : My pleasure.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Anyway, know Mr. Marks? He said he doesn't have any family to be a kidney donor? But he's got a son! We gotta find this guy!

  Dr. Perry Cox : Look, Newbie, there are times a man wants to keep something to himself. Say he's got a son or he's 29 years old and keeps a journal with a unicorn drawn on the cover.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : That's a horse with a sword on his head and he's there to guard my hopes and dreams.

• Dr. Perry Cox : [to Gregory]  Boy, let me tell you about it. You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl's name or scream in his face.

  Gregory Marks : Do you wanna sing about him?

  Dr. Perry Cox : No, not ever.