Scrubs (TV Series)

My Unicorn (2004)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• Dr. Elliot Reid : I have been kicking ass lately, but this place is such a boys' club. I still can't even get x-rays or lab tests back on time.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Hey, Elliot, if you're desperate to get things done, you could always do what Jordan does.

  Jordan Sullivan : [to a security guard]  Could you move my car out of the sun? If the seat gets too hot, my thighs get all pink and sweaty.

  [the security guard rushes off] 

  Jordan Sullivan : Yeah. Bye-bye, security guard.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Hmm. Very classy.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Franklyn, if you analyze this urine sample right now, then maybe I'll have sex with you, but probably not.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Do you have chocolate cake today?

  Male Cafeteria Worker : Nope.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, isn't that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day!

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Elliot, relax. I never get chocolate cake.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh right, 'cause you're diabetic. Boo-hoo! You know what, Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Franklyn, I was wondering if you could put a rush on Mr. Lowenstein's urinaylsis because I've got a really important interview for a fellowship next year.

  Franklyn : No. We're done talking now.

  [walks away] 

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Elliot, we can help.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : No! No, you will not turn Elliot into some flirtatious manipulator. I mean, don't get me wrong, outside the hospital, Elliot with her hair up is a slammin' hottie, but in here she's an asexual mess. And that's the natural order of things and you don't mess with the natural order!

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Elliot, don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about.