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Reviews
Los santos sucios (2009)
A Weird & Apocalyptic Masterpiece
From the very beginning of Luis Ortega's "Los Santos Sucios", you know you are in for a different kind of film experience. The strange/bizarre futuristic music gives the images of rundown Argentina an interesting feel. The cinematography is nice, slow, and focused. And the beautiful cinematography is complimented by steady editing. Now, as far as the plot and the characters are concerned; there is a plot, but the film isn't about the plot, it is about the characters. The cast of characters is made up of a gay couple, an old bell ringer, a mute, a midget, and a crazy streetgirl named Monito (Spanish for little monkey). Something (you don't know what) has happened in the world and there are very few people left on Earth, and the film is about the six characters trying to will up the courage to cross a river that apparently is the key to their salvation and freedom. However, once they cross, all there is is a desert full of white sand. A true modern masterpiece and certainly one of the greatest foreign language films ever made. Ortega has a promising future ahead of him.
SF: Episode One (1998)
Incredibly Original!
There are many things that make Samurai Fiction fantastic. The first thing: the black and white cinematography. The second thing: Instead of blood spurting, spraying, and oozing from dead samurai, the black and white image of the dying person gets a red filter over it and fades away once the man is dead. The third thing: the funky rock soundtrack. The fourth thing: The way Heishiro yells his dialogue when he has short temper. And the fifth thing: The current message of peace throughout. It is a shame that Hiroyuki Nakano hasn't been as successful with his other films as he has been with Samurai Fiction. Hopefully, that will soon change.
Fast & Furious (2009)
Awful!
"The Fast and the Furious" was bad. "2 Fast, 2 Furious" was even worse. "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" was terrible. And now, "Fast and Furious" is complete crap! "The Fast and the Furious" series if the worst movie franchise in the entire history of movie franchises. Whoever produces those movies should really stop and re-think his worthless life of producing the most crappy movies of all time. Along with spoofs and horror films, "The Fast and the Furious" series is one of the many genres/series that are absolutely terrible nowadays. A straight shooter with one out of ten written all over it. I f I could, I would give it one out of one hundred. Unfortunately, I can't do that. So, one out of ten.
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
I feel like I've seen this film ten times, but I haven't...
I cannot even begin to tell you how sick I am of haunted house films. They suck! They used to be good, but now they suck. And the reason that they suck now is because horror films as a whole have become complete nothing. It seems as though horror filmmakers just don't know how to make good movies anymore. All the plots are the same, all the ways of trying to scare people are the same, all the crap is just the same... CRAPPY! Plus, the cinematography and the editing is just terrible in all horror films these days. And "The Haunting in Connecticut" is only another one of those whatever horror films with mediocre acting, mediocre writing, and mediocre directing.
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
The most messed up film of the 21st century... it's AWESOME!
Genius. Demented genius. Those are the only words that can be used to describe Quentin Tarantino and his Uma Thurman samurai-kung-fu-spaghetti-western-giallo-film-mish-mash. The way Tarantino combines three separate genres of the 60s & 70s and lets them run amuck in a world of assassins and extremely gory revenge is handled in a pure and masterful way. His obvious awareness of the importance of long & exciting build-ups to excessive violence is evident clearly throughout "Kill Bill Vol. 1". This is especially evident in the entire bit leading up to the "Showdown at the House of Blues Leaves". First there is the "Green Hornet" theme playing as The Bride arrives in Tokyo and O-Ren gets to the restaurant. Then, the famous electric samurai song plays as O-Ren enters the restaurant. Then, The 5678s play one of there messed up Japanese surfer songs while The Bride checks out the room that O-Ren and her posse are in. Then, The 5678s play the famous "Woo Hoo" song as The Bride enters the washroom to change and so does O-Ren's assistant, Sophie Fatale. And then, "Da Uomo a Uomo", the famous Ennio Morricone theme from "Death Rides a Horse", plays while the Bride slices of Sohpie's arm and O-Ren and her posse come out to get ready and play. The way Quentin handles all of this is pure cinema.
The Dirty Dozen (1967)
The best World War II film ever made!
Generally, for most people, the best World War II film ever made is a film like "Saving Private Ryan", "Schindler's List", or something like that. But for me, at the end of the day, "The Dirty Dozen" tops it all. I love ensemble casts. "The Dirty Dozen" has an ensemble cast. I love traditional marching band drum music for the background of war films. "The Dirty Dozen" has traditional marching band drum music music. I love no-bullshit-approaches to presenting violence in war films. "The Dirty Dozen" has no bullshit. I also love it when a highly controversial subject (like World War II) is chosen for a film and turned into high-class entertaining art. "The Dirty Dozen" is high-class entertaining art... Oh, and I also love Lee Marvin and Charles Bronson. "The Dirty Dozen" definitely has those two guys.
Nightmare (1981)
Good for complete weirdos, disgusting trash for normal people
I was in a pawn shop near my house with a bit of cash in my pocket and the want to buy a few cheap movies. I generally go straight to the DVDs because there tends to be pretty good stuff there, but on that day I decided that I might as well check the VHS section. In that section I found three horror films: "Bloody Birthday", "Night of the Zombies", and "Nightmare". When I got home, I immediately watched "Nightmare". There is a great mix of extreme sex and gory violence. There is also a great twist ending. But other than that, the film was only okay. But for anyone who liked it, I highly suggest the giallo film "Pieces". With much love and appreciations of cinema, Henry Krinkle.
Death Wish (1974)
One of Charles Bronson's few magnificent leading roles
When it comes to the 60s and the 70s in Hollywood, there were only four true badasses of cinema: Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Lee Marvin, and Charles Bronson. And in Charles Bronson's career, there were really only two big highlight films for him: "Once Upon a Time in the West" and "Death Wish". While his one film with Sergio Leone was amazing, it was "Death Wish" that was his vehicle. The film was made for him and it was great at that. Charles Bronson is a man of few words and he says more with a facial expression than with dialogue. Which is why when he finds out that his wife has been murdered and his daughter has been raped, you really feel for him because of his superb acting. And you're completely on his side when he turns to a life of vigilantism, killing sociopathic muggers, because he is just so believable. Sure, the director Michael Winner may not be one of the greatest directors in the world and sure the other four "Death Wish" films really sucked (especially "The Face of Death"), but at the end of the day when, in "Death Wish", Charles Bronson smiles at a group of rowdy kids and mimes firing a gun at them, you have to shut up and let the king of badasses do his work.
Profondo rosso (1975)
Dark Lighting, Extremely Funky Rock Music, & Graphically Violent Gore
Having not seen any other of Dario Argento's giallo films, I can not say whether or not I think "Profondo Rosso" is his masterpiece. But I can say that it is certainly one of the better giallo films I have seen as opposed to all of the other trash that was made in Italy in the 70s and 80s, a good example being "Pieces".
The thing that makes Argento's "Deep Red" so good, is the brilliant use of dark lighting, extremely funky rock music, and graphically violent gore. The acting is also not half as bad as the terrible acting in "Don't Look in the Basement".
The three best Italian directors are Sergio Leone, Mario Bava, Lucio Fulci.
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
One of Quentin Tarantino's greatest feats in fluid potty-mouth dialogue
The highlights of Reservoir Dogs are all the things that Tarantino is well known for doing. Fluid potty-mouth dialogue, non-linear story-telling, funky 70s music, graphic violence, & pop-culture references. All of these things were also presented throughout Pulp Fiction, only they were done more and better in Pulp Fiction. But Reservoir Dogs is still a great first glimpse at the talents of Quentin Tarantino. The characters are original (my favourite being Mr. Blonde). The violence is original (my favourite act of violence being the torture scene between Mr. Blonde & Marvin Nash). And the dialogue is original (my favourite conversation being the one at the beginning of the film where the Dogs are talking about Madonna). TOP 6 Q.T. FILMS Pulp Fiction Reservoir Dogs Kill Bill Vol. 2 Kill Bill Vol. 1 Jackie Brown Death Proof
Bad Santa (2003)
Billy Bob should feel ashamed
I was over at my cousin's house when he rented this film called Bad Santa. I thought 'I Might as well watch and see what it's like' & 'I'm a fair fan of Billy Bob Thornton'. So, I watched it... and I hated it! The whole film is completely pointless. The film starts off with a drunken man who goes around shopping malls during Christmas and plays santa clause so that he can get access to the malls stores, and then at night time, he robs the stores. He also falls in love with this single mother who has a fat son who's really kind and in the end ends up being a complete asshole thanks to Billy Bob's character. Bad Santa is one of the worst movies ever made and it is in my bottom 5. BOTTOM 5 300 Aliens vs. Predator: Requium Bad Santa Date Movie The Fast and the Furious
Taxi Driver (1976)
Taxi Driver is an unsettling masterpiece about loneliness
When one watches Taxi Driver, one has to be prepared for a story that is extremely disturbing, extremely depressing, and yet, at the same time, extremely breath-taking (most disturbing/depressing films are breath-taking). Robert De Niro's performance as a hardened Vietnam War Veteran is the best performance in the actor's career. Martin Scorsese's direction is somewhat dreamlike in it's depiction of a sociopathic mind at it's breaking point. Bernard Hermann adds to the dreamy visuals of the film with a very eerie jazz-like kind of score that stirs as well as unsettles. Taxi Driver is one of the greatest films ever made and is in my top 10. TOP 10 Psycho The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Pulp Fiction Taxi Driver The Wild Bunch No Country for Old Men Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb Fist of Fury Shogun Assassin Bullitt
West Side Story (1961)
This is one of the few musicals I like and it's pretty damn good
This is one of the few musicals that I like and it's pretty damn good. West Side story is in my top 50. TOP 50 Psycho The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Pulp Fiction Taxi Driver The Wild Bunch No Country for Old Men Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the bomb Fist of Fury Shogun Assassin Bullitt The Godfather The Dirty Dozen Sin City Saving Private Ryan Once Upon a Time in the West The Sixth Sense Scarface Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid Reservoir Dogs The Guns of Navarone From Russia with Love The Sting Jaws Evil Dead II The Third Man North by Northwest The Maltese Falcon Dirty Harry For a Few Dollars more Videodrome All Quiet on the Western Front The Shining Office Space Vertigo Kill Bill Vol. 2 2001: A Space odyssey The Great Escape Casino Royale Twelve Angry Men Bonnie & Clyde Blazing Saddles Alien Fargo Rear Window El Mariachi Airplane A Fistful of Dollars Strangers on a Train Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom West Side Story
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Pulp Fiction is Quentin Tarantino's masterpiece
Quentin Tarantino is well known for his graphic violence, his 70s soundtracks, his pop culture references, his ensemble casting, and his non-linear story telling. Pulp Fiction is by far the best example of all of these Tarantino trademarks to be rolled into one amazing film. From the opening scene in the Restauraunt between Honey Bunny and Pumpkin to the ending where we once again meet up with Honey Bunny and Pumpkin again in the restauraunt through the characters of Vincent and Jules. The music is superbly chosen by Quentin Tarantino and the dialogue is incredibly original (my favourite line of course being: "Do you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in Paris?"). Pulp Fiction is the greatest film ever made by Quentin Tarantino.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
I expected something as good as A.V.P. I got crap
I didn't end up seeing this film in theatres mainly because of it's rating. So, I waited till it came out on DVD and rented it. I was expecting it to be some good messy fun like the first film... it was certainly messy... but it was in no way at all fun. From the opening scene where they actually show a nine-year-old boy have an alien burst out of his chest and blood and guts going everywhere to the ending scene with some stiff-ass government man holding some object or whatever from the whole incident that occurred in the small town where all the crap happened with the aliens and the predators, I was struck by fascination... fascination as to how the hell a movie could be so bad! A.V.P.R. is one of the worst films ever made!
Psycho (1960)
Psycho is the best film ever made!
Without a single doubt, Alfred Hitchcock is the greatest director who ever lived. So, obviously, the fans of his always choose what film they think his masterpiece. For me, that film would have to be Psycho. There's just no flaws. The score by Bernard Hermann is magnificently ominous and eerie. The cinematography is beautifully photographed in black & white. The story is original (it was in 1960). The script is well-written with crisp dialogue and real people with real emotions. And the acting is superb from Janet Leigh's screaming in the shower to Anthony Perkins' jittery stuttering when he's talking to Detective Arbogast. The best scene in the film is when the psychiatrist is explaining what events had just taken place to Vera Miles & John Gavin. Psycho is the #1 movie ever made!
300 (2006)
300 is the worst movie ever made!
Every once in a while, one of those films come along that just completely blows you away and ends up being one of your favorite films of all time. For me, 300 is definitely not one of those films. The slow motion action is annoying. The over-use of computer effects to create environments is annoying (un-like Sin City). The acting is terrible. Gerald Butler is actually not that bad of an actor, but because the script, the director, and the original source of the graphic novel, he was bound to act poorly. When I saw the film in theatres, I tried my best to like the film. I was trying to view it as a different kind of film to consider. But by the time the film got to that scene where that hunch-backed thing was talking to the Egyptian king, I stopped liking the film. The worst movie ever made!
Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo (1966)
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is the best western ever made!
Clint Eastwood is the best actor of all time. Sergio Leone is one of the greatest directors of all time. Ennio Morricone is one of the great composers of all time. So, the three of them combined, making a film in the genre that happens to be my favorite genre, that film would have to certainly be a good one... and it is. From Clint Eastwood's under-playing and eye-squinting, to Sergio Leone's breath-taking story-telling and photography of vast Spanish deserts, to Ennio Morricone's pulsating music, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is certainly one of the best films ever made. The best scene has to be the iconic showdown to end all western showdowns in Sad Hill Cemetery between Blondie, Tuco, & Setenza. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is the #2 movie ever made.