A Hazard of Hearts (1987 TV Movie)
2/10
So trashy you can't rip your eyes away.
27 March 1999
So there I was, laid up with the 'flu. I flick to the midday movie - oh, it's got Helena Bonham-Carter in it. Groovy. Little did I know that I was in for two hours of cliched corny crap that also proved extremely difficult to stop watching despite all my efforts. I swear, I tried so hard to stop! But it was just so (unintentionally) amusing!

The cliches just kept on coming; the acting was terrible (apart from Bonham-Carter); the direction clumsy; the costumes and set design cheap. I know, it was made for television; but so was My Beautiful Laundrette.

But what really made me frustrated was the hero - throughout the whole film, purportedly a romance-adventure, he always, every single time, kissed Helena on the forehead. Like she was a little girl. It killed me.

Watch it for laughs, but don't expect anything else.
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