mike-3842's Reviews

Deadpool (2016)

Not for everyone, despite the high scores

15 February 2016

Rather than tell you whether I liked this movie or not, I'll try to tell you what to expect, and you can make up your own mind if you want to see it.

Story-wise it's really not that interesting: Punk gets super-powers but because of how he acquired them he holds a huge grudge against the person responsible for giving them to him. Revenge ensues.

This is the introduction of a new Super-character, Deadpool, from the Marvel Universe. There's plenty of action, much of it gratuitous and with ridiculously violent and cruel one sided slaughter scenes of people with no super powers.

The most entertaining action of course is when adversaries are evenly matched, and whilst there is plenty of this too, the villains are ultimately hopelessly outgunned and that puts a cap on the potential for a nail-biting climax.

The dialogue: Deadpool wise-cracks his way through the 108 minutes. Sometimes he's genuinely funny, but mostly he talks fast to keep things from slowing down. There are plenty of laugh out loud moments, and equally there were others that were just embarrassing in their vulgarity.

What makes this film different is that Deadpool knows he's in a movie and takes time out to joke with the audience. It's an interesting move for such a high budget film and generally it worked out pretty well.

The target audience is undoubtedly male, from 16 to 25. Teens are going to love it but there's probably not enough story there for everyone else and it's just too violent for anyone under 16.

This is a movie of our time, violent with a wayward moral compass. Heros are out of style and instead we are treated to a dose of narcissism. This doesn't mean the film is unwatchable, but don't expect to leave the cinema uplifted and inspired.

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John Wick (2014)

4/10

Shoot 'Em Up without the panache

2 December 2014

Warning: Spoilers

If you've seen Shoot 'Em Up you'll know exactly what this movie should have been. That was a relentless rip-roaring and most importantly, humorous jaunt from beginning to end. Mr Smith was an accidental hero pitted against impossible odds, and he out gunned them with a lot of bullets, flair and sometimes even with just a carrot.

That was Mr Smith. Mr Wick is an ex-gangster with a chip on his shoulder. He's a man who kills people not with carrots but with a pencil. He is no hero; he's just the Boogeyman out for revenge and he doesn't care who gets hurt.

Mr Smith saved a baby and bought down an evil congressman and a wicked corporation. Mr Wick kills 150 people without remorse because a punk killed his dog. He doesn't rescue anyone except himself, and ironically (although it's doubtful the film makers realized it) after having spent the whole movie avenging the loss of his dog he steals somebody else's. This was doubtless a director's attempt to assign some meaning to the end of what was really a pointless story.

Sorry Keanu, going to have to give this one the thumbs down. A story really does matter.

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Star Trek Continues (2013–2017)

8/10

For the money spent an amazing achievement

4 May 2014

I understand the first episode cost just 40 thousand dollars. If you read the other reviews you can get an idea of how well the set and atmosphere were recreated.

But you want to know the full truth and not just the sugar coated version, so here is the rest:

I felt the story needed more energy and whilst it attempted to reproduce the moral tales of the 60s the lesson came across as superficial (I rolled my eyes at the end). You could also detect the absence of consulting scientists in the vetting of the script. There's some action outside the space ship that seems to have no bearing on the story. It was not tied in well, or at all actually, and just seemed to be an excuse to use the special effects.

The actors should be admired stepping into such big shoes. In some cases it didn't really work. The voices are what I noticed most. The original Spock spoke an octave lower than his modern day surrogate. There was also an obvious age difference in Kirk and McCoy which was hard to ignore.

If this was an original Star Trek episode it would have been a weaker one. Currently on Youtube about 3% of voters are giving it the thumbs down which is quite high I think for such a noble effort and it reflects the small but significant misjudgments and deficiencies which permeate the episode. I am sure these niggles will be ironed out in future as the team becomes more experienced and more free to experiment with new ideas and do it their own way. The first ever episode of Star Trek was equally awkward and look where that led :)

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Star Trek Continues: Pilgrim of Eternity (2013)

Season 1, Episode 1

8/10

For the money spent an amazing achievement

1 May 2014

I understand this episode cost just 40 thousand dollars. If you read the other reviews you can get an idea of how well the set and atmosphere were recreated.

But you want to know the full truth and not just the sugar coated version, so here is the rest:

I felt the story needed more energy and whilst it attempted to reproduce the moral tales of the 60s the lesson came across as superficial (I rolled my eyes at the end). You could also detect the absence of consulting scientists in the vetting of the script. There's some action outside the space ship that seems to have no bearing on the story. It was not tied in well, or at all actually, and just seemed to be an excuse to use the special effects.

The actors should be admired stepping into such big shoes. In some cases it didn't really work. The voices are what I noticed most. The original Spock spoke an octave lower than his modern day surrogate. There was also an obvious age difference in Kirk and McCoy which was hard to ignore.

If this was an original Star Trek episode it would have been a weaker one. Currently on Youtube about 3% of voters are giving it the thumbs down which is quite high I think for such a noble effort and it reflects the small but significant misjudgments and deficiencies which permeate the episode. I am sure these niggles will be ironed out in future as the team becomes more experienced and more free to experiment with new ideas and do it their own way. The first ever episode of Star Trek was equally awkward and look where that led :)

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Prince Avalanche (2013)

3/10

There should be a warning on this kind of film

3 January 2014

I watched this because it was billed as a comedy by IMDb. Recently I have noticed a trend for movies to be about absolutely nothing. Greenberg with Ben Stiller was one such disappointment. It was a mind numbing character study and it reminded me of Prince Avalanche inasmuch as I sat through the whole film waiting for something to happen and nothing ever did. At some point it just ended and I felt like an idiot for sitting through it.

I'm a simple guy who likes his entertainment straightforward. I want to be taken away from reality for 90 minutes as I have enough of it already in my real life. Movies which just give us more of reality need to be clearly marked as such.

Rant over.

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Man of Steel (2013)

5/10

Computer Graphics Go a Step Too Far

1 July 2013

I have loved comic book characters since I was 7 years old. I collected every kind of comic book possible and I still have them all, 37 years later. I was delighted when Marvel decided to get into the movie making business. The time was right and computer effects were cheap enough to create stunning movies which could be faithful to the stories they were reliving.

And stunning they were, in true comic book style, as they concentrated on character development which is all important in this kind of story.

An unfortunate trend has begun in the last year or two. Because anything is possible in CGI the movie makers attempt to make bigger and bigger spectacles, relying on the crutch of physically impossible action sequences, tumbling buildings and explosions to keep momentum going. This was very evident in Iron Man 3 which I disliked, and it's plain to see again in Man of Steel. The few attempts to evoke emotions from the audience were back-slappingly funny (Kevin Costner, you know what I am talking about).

About 3/4 of the way through, I realized I was thoroughly bored with the commotion and I yearned for some humour and plot development. It was obvious none would be forthcoming. I am afraid despite the high scores people are giving this film, it's a real dud.

I hope this recent trend to appeal to the lowest common denominator ends soon and that movie makers go back to what really gets people talking about a movie: the story.

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Taken 2 (2012)

5/10

Unintentionally Hilarious

12 October 2012

Warning: Spoilers

I think most of us were pretty impressed with Taken. It had tense non- stop action and there was a perfect rationale for everything which was happening. It took place in the lair of the Albanian Mafia who were firmly installed in Paris, and where it was perfectly believable that there could be 100 bad guys to mow down. Brian Mills would stop at nothing to save his daughter.

Not so in Taken 2. It takes place in Istanbul where the bad guys have gone to find Mills to get revenge for what he did to them in the first film. In Taken 2 The Albanians don't have an established local operation and they seemingly come from nowhere in unlimited numbers every time Mills guns a few more down.

But what is worse, (or better if you find goofs amusing) about this film is that it is so bad that it's funny. I really cannot believe Luc Besson put his name on this. Mills ALWAYS does things the hardest way possible. I mean sometimes you are just thinking "damn it man call an ambulance, or the police. Your ex wife is dying on the floor and all you have to do is make a call". Others you are thinking "he's trapped and calling from a mobile phone. It's easy for the police to triangulate the signal and find him, but no, he has his daughter set off grenades one after the other in the middle of Istanbul so he can tell her how to find him by listening where the explosions are coming from". There is even a moment where the bad guys pile his ex wife into a van and he is literally 10 metres away and doesn't bother to make chase. Not that he has anything else to do....

Mills has an uncanny knack of walking the streets with no idea of where he is going and suddenly stumbling back onto the trail completely by accident.

He storms the US embassy instead of just walking up to the door and asking to come in. Once he is inside he calls a friend in high places who diffuses the situation. But why doesn't he just call this guy instead of driving at high speed through a bunch of soldiers with machine guns - with his daughter at the wheel of the car I might add!

Oh and the kill scenes are just too funny. There is a moment where Mills pushes a baddie nonchalantly in the face and he dies instantly. I laughed out loud at that moment. It was really priceless.

I highly enjoyed this film because it gave me many laughs, but I am 99% sure that it was not supposed to be that way. It's just a sloppy lazy sequel. Best have a few beers before you watch :)))

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Looper (2012)

7/10

On Second Thought - Not So Great

28 September 2012

Of course when you sit down with the popcorn to watch a movie about time travel you should be prepared for the time paradoxes and contradictions. In Looper they come in spades but unfortunately in this case they really don't make even a little sense

A quick summary of what the film is about: In the far future it is impossible to criminally dispose of bodies so the mob instead beams them back 30 years where "Loopers", in league with the future Mafia shoot them dead and crimate the remains. To tie up loose ends these Loopers themselves are also terminated in the same way by their younger selves, 30 years after they retire. This all goes swimmingly until a retiree escapes after being beamed into the past. Chaos ensues...

I have to say as I watched the movie unfold I enjoyed it. There was a good balance of action and drama and it was unpredictable enough to keep me on the edge of my seat.

However, now I am home I am thinking more about what nonsense the end actually was, (yes, a time paradox) and worse than that I also realize there is not one character in the film I liked. This makes it difficult to rave about later on.

Looper currently has a very high IMDb rating. I think over time it will come down to less rarefied altitude as it certainly doesn't deserve to be listed among the all time classics.

All that said, it's great fun, so don't let my tepid review stop you from seeing it. Make up your own mind. It's certainly worth watching if you are a sci-fi fan.

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Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

7/10

Not just another monkey movie!

7 August 2011

After the trailer piqued my interest I was expecting quite a different plot to the original "Apes", and now it's over I can say I was not disappointed.

In the original story humans travel though space to a planet inhabited by intelligent monkeys. This plot was fine for schoolboy comics but it really required a leap of faith for the cinema goers. The latest tale gives a more plausible (though still quite ridiculous) explanation for the monkeys' rise to master their own destiny: Their intelligence was boosted accidentally by medication.

OK, it sounds a bit lame but the film is actually very good on many levels. The stars (monkeys) all have personalities, even without the ability to speak. There are many scenes where I felt genuinely bad about the way they were treated. The modern digital imaging is just incredible - I really couldn't tell what I was watching was computer generated, and the expressions on their faces are better acted than their supporting human cast!

The story starts off slowly but even then it's never boring. Things really get rolling about halfway though, and it's an action movie after all....so the climax comes with plenty of thrills as the alpha males (human and ape) contend for dominance in a shoot out like you have never seen before.

Although this wasn't the most rip-roaring movie I have seen this year, it was by far the most original. Full marks for the plot, and high marks for the testosterone (you could almost smell it)! Loved it. If you are a big kid, go watch it, you'll love it too. If you liked Tree of Life then I am afraid this is not one for you!

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The Tree of Life (2011)

1/10

Thank god it's over... Definitely not for everybody.

28 May 2011

I don't expect the majority of viewers to agree with me as it already has a decent rating, but if you searched for people who hated this film then I suspect you will probably dislike it, and I am going to spare you the unfortunate experience I had of going to see it.

Just to state my preferences and for your orientation, I have enjoyed many of the artistic offerings from the IMDb top recommendations, but I prefer my fare more straightforward.

I'll just fly in the face of protocol now and say I had no clue what this film was about. I wanted to leave after 20 minutes but my girlfriend insisted to stay to the end to see what the point was. Other people did leave in the middle of the film and there was a lot of fidgeting going on in the cinema. For the first time in my life I dozed off for a few minutes in a cinema.

There is no plot - only a stream of images following two boys through their childhood and also a flashback to the the creation of the earth. The cinematography was quite impressive but the overall result was oh-so-dull. I am sure there was a point but I just could not be bothered to try to understand it.

Apologies to aficionados. I don't mean to be derogatory about this film. I only want to save some people from sitting through it who would not like it.

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The Mechanic (2011)

6/10

Not sure I like this one

28 January 2011

I am one of the original Jason Statham fans. I loved the Transporter, Crank and his collaborations with Guy Ritchie like Revolver and even tolerated some of his less glorious efforts such as Death Race.

For me what makes his movies so enjoyable is the tongue in cheek humour and the likable side of the tough guy. We all know he's not a great actor but the lovable rogue is his trademark and that's why we keep going back for more.

"The Mechanic" is about a ruthless hit man and it gives Statham no opportunity to smile or engage in banter, nor make us laugh. It's a non- stop action film with a few goofs and a script with holes big enough to drive a bus through. Normally I would forgive and forget, because I like him, but he didn't make me laugh nor make me wish I could be like him this time.

There were no characters to like in this film, but there was plenty of action which makes it instantly forgettable. I know you want to read the movie was great but I wouldn't be honest if I pretended it was. Worth watching but don't expect another Transporter.

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Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

6/10

Sadly, a wasted opportunity

25 September 2010

Having waited impatiently over a year to see this film I found it disappointing. I will tell you why.

Firstly, Oliver Stone and Michael Douglas always said they were amazed that Gordon Gekko was an inspiration for many a man to take up a job on Wall Street. Gekko had been intended to be a repulsive character representing greed. The fact that he was, in fact so inspirational was the reason that Wall St was such a hit. In the new film Gekko's edginess is gone. He seems almost human, and save a couple of good lines, he is an inspiration for nobody.

Second, The financial crisis has provided remarkable material that could have been made into a fast moving and exciting storyline similar to the first film. Instead Oliver Stone has chosen to tell a moral tale. The trouble is the character that Stone holds up as a helpless victim deserved his fate and Gekko also makes a choice that is supposedly the moral one but he does it only because he can afford to.

The message in the story? For me it's just that nobody knows what is moral any more, not even people who make films about morality.

Should you watch it? Yes, it's engaging and fun but don't expect the wheeling, dealing testosterone of the first film. This is a story about people, not deal making. It's just OK.

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Machete (2010)

8/10

Why is this not billed as a comedy?

6 September 2010

When I saw the trailer for this film I thought it had to be trash but I laughed almost from the beginning to the end. Tongue in cheek humour - it's all intentional, there is nothing unfunny about Machete.

I was ready for a lot of gore but it was all done in such a hilarious way that I hardly noticed how disgusting it was. I fact, I was still laughing 5 minutes after I left the cinema.

If he wasn't already so old I would say Danny Trejo was an undiscovered talent set for a meteoric rise, but the guy is already 64. I never could have guessed as the adrenaline and action pumped incessantly.... and hysterically this weather-beaten old dude also managed effortlessly to bed any chiquita he came across, and in style too.

Machete kills and maims and has sex all the way through the movie, but amazingly he is also a gentleman. you have to love him.

The best movie I have seen this year and the best movie of this genre for some time. Top marks for not taking itself one bit seriously but knowing exactly how to entertain!

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The Wolfman (2010)

6/10

Missing some class

9 March 2010

Pretty old school with it's plot and there were no great surprises. At one point the religious element of werewolves is touched upon in a sermon by a priest and I thought there might be some clever development in this vein but sadly it was not to be. Throughout the film several ideas were thrown which never got developed which made me wonder why they were put there in the first place.

However, updated special effects make it worth watching! It is grim and gruesome and scary as hell, although I was able to time the scary moments to the second as they were telegraphed in advance by the music and camera-work.

Still..... you know exactly what you are getting with this film, so there is no cause for complaint. A fun night out!

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The Rebound (2009)

4/10

Formulaic romance for women only

28 February 2010

I went to see this movie with my girlfriend because I don't mind romantic comedies as they often have some pretty funny moments in them.

I have to say, this one fell flat for me as the attempts at humour were pretty toe curling, so all that was left was the romance. And whilst it was OK, it wasn't entirely believable. As you would expect in a movie made for women, Catherine Zeta Jones' character is pretty human and her protagonist played by Justin Bartha is superhuman: young and good looking but likes older women, way more mature than he should be for his age, loves other peoples' children, shy but outspoken when it matters, and of course he is not interested in other women.

You know the story. You've seen it 100 times before. This one doesn't have the laughs. Just about worth watching, but not worth a special trip.

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Dead Man (1995)

2/10

Tiring Art Movie

18 October 2009

I didn't enjoy this at all.

Technically very atmospheric, but as Johnny Depp descended towards death I felt exactly the same.

I was struggling to keep my eyes open for the last third of the movie just as he was.

I'm not being sarcastic now when I say that the closing scene of the film was both a release for me and for him.

A must see for students of cinema....

And a big "avoid" for everybody else.

Just a note in case you were unaware, the movie is Black and White.

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Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

7/10

Great Idea, Poor Ending

16 October 2009

Warning: Spoilers

This is a great idea. A technical genius who is somehow able to commit revenge murders from his jail cell. He doesn't hide the fact he's a killer; in fact he announces each murder just before it happens.

Technically everything was possible and the method very cleverly hidden so I was kept in suspense until the last 20 minutes when the cat was let out of the bag too early. The ending is a let down. It's true Hollywood: Technically improbable, illogical, and in my opinion it spoils all the character development made until that point and wastes the opportunity for a much darker ending with a more satisfying outcome.

All that said I really enjoyed it. I would recommend it to anyone not disturbed by moderate violence. Go see it!

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Pandorum (2009)

7/10

It had a plot

3 October 2009

I went into this movie without knowing what it was about, and as it progressed I was afraid it was going to develop into a clone of Event Horizon. I'm pleased to say it didn't. Whilst it's a horror movie, it's not overly gory and there's plenty of action, even if the scenes are hard to follow because of the quick cutting between camera angles.

It's not going to win Oscars but even though there were blood hungry mutants which stretch the bounds of probability and there were echoes of other space horror movies, it's more believable and enjoyable than some of the earthbound movies I saw in the last year.

The plot is not that complicated but there are a couple of nice twists which keep it rolling along and which differentiate it from the standard horror. There are lots of opportunities to jump our of your chair so don't choke on the popcorn!

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The Dark Knight (2008)

8/10

Great action, dark atmosphere, and a few odd plot holes

20 July 2008

For those who like a non stop action roller coaster, on the whole this movie should be highly enjoyable. From beginning to end it's deliberately fast paced, even confusing at times. As with most modern movie flicks you need to forget about the laws of physics. The Bat-Mobile and Bat-Cycle, and even Batman himself are great fun, but totally impossible of course :)

The Joker's character is a perfectly crafted horror. He dominates the movie, partly because the film makers have given him seemingly unlimited energy to be everywhere at once, to easily bypass security everywhere, and an unexplained ability to command total loyalty from his henchmen who he consistently betrays.

The mood is deliberately grim, focusing on the seedy underbelly of the world's largest city and how it bites back when threatened with extinction.

In the first movie we saw Bruce Wayne create the Batman character as a symbol of hope for the tired and beaten-down populace. In this movie we see him ultimately sacrifice that symbol for what he believes to be a greater and more important one. That's what makes it such a dark movie. Although the ending is in true Hollywood style, good does not triumph over evil.

The film is long, but the time passes quickly and whether you love it or just like it it is definitely worth seeing. Hope you enjoy it :)

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The Mist (2007)

10/10

So bad I had to tell you about it

16 April 2008

I read a lot of reviews before going to see this movie, good and bad and I took them at face value. Now I am convinced the good reviews are nearly all fake. I feel cheated, so here is a real review.

I really like Stephen King and I was looking forward to an unusual story with a couple twists and turns. It's unusual for sure, but the plot wears thin very quickly, as we quickly learn there isn't one, other than that the cast are trapped in a supermarket surrounded by a bizarre mist and outside there are creepy crawlies who kill people mercilessly if they come outside.

The point of story (I think) is to show how mob mentality develops and how a scared crowd will follow anybody who can explain something terrifying they don't understand. In actual fact the characters are just way too over the top to suspend disbelief. The silly arguments just add to the tedium, and on occasion they are so contrived they provoke laughter.

The tempo is slow and there were plenty of yawns from the audience. For those who stick it out, there is a twist at the end, and it's never been done before (with good reason), but frankly, it doesn't do the story any favours. The ending is just too bad to describe. Go and see this movie if you are a fan of bad horror flicks. If you are looking for a story with a moral or a point then this is definitely not for you.

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Event Horizon (1997)

1/10

A really Horrible movie

2 September 2006

I thought this was a science fiction flick, but as the movie went on it became clear it was a horror movie, and the most gory kind at that, which is surprising because it had a decent cast who've been in some great films.

Personally I don't mind scary movies but when the main idea is to revolt me I don't appreciate it. I wasn't able to watch it to the end. It was just too ugly.

Add to that a non existent plot and I'd rate the Event Horizon a "non-event" and wish the whole memory of it could disappear into a black hole.

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